I would like to hear what the pundits have to say about this take before I decide my position re:evil.

Image of the Yeti in the skiing Windows game SkiFree eating the player

Breaking: Tragedy at the Winter Olympics

It was…. Until the children ruined it

Let me tell you, it doesn’t even need to be adult sized to live the life you’ve always dreamed of.

9 out of 10 doctors agree: if you sneeze straight up into the air and let the spray rain down on you, you are seriously disgusting. That 10th doctor is into some weird stuff.

Turn ons: Haagen Dazs
Turn offs: Pretzel rolls

As a landlubber I truly appreciate your family’s commitment to non-plank walking for my people. 🙏

How did you know?!?

I asked ChatGPT and it said I was very smart and handsome and I didn’t need to escape the room.

I’ve already eaten more than half, I might as well just finish it, no point in saving it as leftovers and I hate to let good food go to waste.

Things happen! People’s heads just pop off all every day! We live in topsy turvy times!

Are you seeking investors at this time?

What if this whole time I was made of cake? Would I even know? There is only one truth and it is the truth of the knife. All is revealed to be a lie until the knife has its beautiful moment of clarity……
(****update: not cake. Should have known from all the time I’ve cut myself while cooking. Oops)

Mmmm can’t wait to eat these delicious lumps and slab!

Done and done

I like to live every day like its Halloween: by pretending to be something I'm not and harassing strangers for candy.

#selfcare

My cat when he decides it’s time for pets.

My kids trying to stop me from going through their Halloween candy.

“Be careful, lemon balm likes to spread”
That’s fine, I have it contained in a pot on my cement patio
Lemon balm: “haha! Jokes on you idiot! I fucking love cement!”

Sure, you COULD say I have “IBS”. Or you could alternatively say I have “dumps like a truck (truck, truck) guts like what (what, what) gotta move my butt (butt, butt) Uh I think I’ll sing it again!”
Doctor: no, it’s the former, you need to see a specialist…… possibly two specialists 🤨

What are their views on firmly worded letters?

Ah but have the haters considered your cat is clearly having a blast and also very photogenic?

I love everything lookouts related you’ve done.

The foie gras is flown in from Paris fresh daily. It is served over a fall apple gastrique and topped with a celery root foam. Or for our more discerning guests who choose to “live mas” for an additional 99 cents it can be made “loco” and topped with either cool ranch or nacho cheese dust.

If the infinite worlds hypothesis is correct there is probably a universe where peanut butter Twix went on to beat out caramel Twix as the predominant Twix and I just hope the me that lives in that reality realizes how lucky he is.

Me: I am wholy consumed by an existential crisis. I feel as if my soul itself is tired, and there is a vital piece of me that is missing. Nothing has any meaning and I am uncertain about my place in the world.
Sigmund Freud: Yes, I have a treatment that I believe can help you with that: