Perfection

Funnily, they’re as far from the middle of NYC as you can get while still being in NYC. They’re basically in Long Island, which famously sucks ass

Lotta Mets hate on here tonight. Isn’t it bad enough that they have to wake up everyday knowing that they’re on a dog shit team?

That said, you’ll never get a more succulent Chinese meal after another losing game than in very nearby Flushing

So much post-COVID ptsd, so much work from home comfort stripped away, so much “the world is ending, why bother?” I end up doing much of their work simply to keep the ball rolling and hope they can garner enough interest to keep up. I’ve never wanted to leave teaching so badly

My only hope for the new Apple guy is that they start doing weird one-off designs again. Give me a rhombus or one that looks like a bag of sand or something. I’ll take frosted colors just for old times sake. Let’s fucking do this

Why am i imagining these as those Valentine’s Day cards that you’d give to kids at school?

Say what you want about his portrayal of bipolar disorder, but I would have bought that bread too. It looks amazing

They were already gone by the time most of us got into drugs. One of Reagan’s guys killed the whole industry. But I’d have taken them by the fist full if I could

The Iranians are ddosing my butt for being too shapely and now I can’t poop

Us marshalls is an absolutely acceptable rainy afternoon background movie

Why even leak secrets if it doesn’t help win a dumb argument about who has the best tanks?

Yeah, but imagine writing “fuck you” in lights right before poking them in the chest

Add some middle aged Martha’s Vineyard lady and you’ve got it

The Big Taj, which came out in 1979 and was thought of as super fucking cool at the time

Prototype seen here

Wild that I know exactly what “liberal voice”
sounds like and I fucking hate it

Is the use of so many Latinx names a swipe at the president or a swipe FROM the president? Like, are his people thinking that we’ll all be more in favor of mass deportations if hurricane Cristobal wipes out Disney world?

I was gonna Google if j lo and Ben affleck were still together and I realized that I cared so little that I wouldn’t even switch tabs and type the question. Godspeed to both of them but it turns out idgaf

Please please please let us buy @infowars email addresses. I would pay folding money for that

If you’re wondering why engineers should take liberal arts classes, look no further than these asshole goggles. “Style? Comfort? These are women’s concerns. Give me something that looks like the front end of a Honda Civic.”

Gonna really bet on glasses that looks like something an ophthalmologist makes you wear as a child to fix a lazy eye?

Well okay

Raspberry indifferents

I’m a married guy with no kids and I’m gonna get over to Tennessee and rail some redneck gals cause I guess I’m single over there.

She could sue the stagehand to try to recoup the money he got in free beers for telling that story to everyone who’d listen. Fucking legend

WOULD SOMEONE PLEASE EXPLAIN HOW TO GET IN ON THE STOCK MARKET GRIFT? Honestly I feel like I’m leaving money in the table

How many of them are wearing the ill-fitting shoes that Trump bought them in this picture

Not gonna delete because it’s the coward’s path and we learn nothing, but this one felt dickish, ngl. Sorry about that

Might just be you, but live your truth!

Seems redundant. Might as well throw an indigo girls bumper sticker on there while you’re at it

“Power Pig” needs to be a subculture if it isn’t shady

They should put a plaque up at the entrance that reads, “This is where that one scene from ‘Michael Clayton’ was shot. The one with the bread. I know, such a good movie, right?”