I bet he looked cool as hell doing it though

Sweet Sue Canned Whole Chicken

eh wish I’d seen this about 20 minutes ago

it is but I can tell it’s not her. she never smiles like that

wife just pranked me by “accidentally” sharing pics of her and her boss in a hot tub in Cabo. Not falling for that one Linda, I know you’re at a conference in Phoenix lol

damn got my ass

MODS ⬆️⬆️⬆️

not much what’s a joke with you lmao

[first day in improv troupe]
me: guys what if we wrote the jokes ahead of time
lead improv guy: holy shit

Alex Kidd movie when? I want to see a mf punch a fish

big tent democrats: correction, we have 2 justices

did those guys ever find out what the scenario was

ok fine I'll sign up for your patreon

if my math is right a pee sandwich with extra poop comes out to $11.29 before tax… let's zoom in here

I don’t know why (I follow you)

I’d say it’s more of a “hippo’s mentions”

I have good news and bad news

bsky.app/profile/jtp....

checking in from 2026 before vruntr destroyed society

thanks for not using my name

I'm going to become a money influencer and teach people how to save by never going anywhere or doing anything. It'll be called going tree mode

[charlie brown high fiving everyone after a funeral] good grief. good grief. good grief.

sitting in traffic when a smart beautiful woman, w/an amazing personality, walks close by—about 5ft away. i lock my car doors out of respect

We need other Ar- states. Armontana, Arnew Mexico

yea i've got imposter syndrome. im poster

getting word that male black widow has been verified

hard to get a complete picture of the war when the right half of the screen is Subway Surfers gameplay

i guess those celebrating soras death didnt get the memo that some of us need daily personalized greetings from james bond—for mental health

I’m at ICE HQ