Me in 2003: This is stupid. Why would a republic embrace becoming an empire? There's way too few people objecting. I don't believe this.

Me in 2026: Oh.

Chancellor Palpatine in a big floofy outfit.

My next village council meeting falls on May the 4th and it's taking all my Jesus not to express order this.

(At Gatwick Aviation Fair): "Bring me the head of IG-88!"

Is it, though?

A particularly good bit of sass I found in a reddit thread about unfinished fantasy novel series, posted by user "open_door_policy". Some context before I transcribe it: George R R Martin has written loads of books in the well-liked Song Of Ice And Fire series (you know, game of thrones) but has been taking a long while over the final two, and people are worried he won't live long enough to finish them, as he's pretty old now. Meanwhile "newcomer" Patrick Rothfuss made waves with "The Name of the Wind," the first in a trilogy called the Kingkiller Chronicles, followed it up with the first of its two sequels a couple of years later, and then, as far as I can tell, just stopped. The books came out in 2007 and 2011, and since then he's been engaging in an unusual campaign of telling everyone the third novel has been finished for ages but not releasing it, instead streaming videogames on twitch and occasionally causing controversy by doing fundraisers on the promise of releasing chapters from the anticipated book at certain monetary milestones. The fundraisers have been very successful, over a million in one case. I'll leave it to you to find evidence of him having released the chapters, I couldn't find any. This has caused what you might call a re-evaluation of Rothfuss' work, with the readers who were passionate fans of it 13 years ago having spent the intervening time growing older and expanding their reading experience, etc. So, back to the sass. Quote: "I know that Martin has indicated that if he passes before A Song Of Ice And Fire is finished, he didn't want anyone else to end the series. And I really do think that Rothfuss would be the perfect choice of author to not finish the series."

wohohoohh

Door hanger. GOOD MORNING THAT ISN'T BLOOD ON THE BEDSHEETS, I DROPPED A PORK CHOP ON THE BED... THE INCIDENT ITSELF REALLY SUMS UP WHO I AM AS A PERSON. REGARDS-DYLAN WILSON

Still makes me laugh.

Napkinless Man With Grease-Covered Fingers Realizes He Trapped In A Prison Of His Own Creation

Napkinless Man With Grease-Covered Fingers Realizes He Trapped In A Prison Of His Own Creation theonion.com/napkinless-man-with-grea...

Happy silly Amydog

Look how comfortable and cozy this dog is. Don't you wish you were this dog

NASA astronaut Christina Koch sits in an U.S. Navy MH-60S Seahawk attached to Helicopter Sea Combat Squadron (HSC) 23 on the flight deck of the San Antonio Class amphibious transport dock USS John P. Murtha (LPD 26) after returning from space on Apr. 10, 2026.

This picture of Astronaut Christina Koch after the Artemis landing is frankly incredible and beautiful.

Frank Herbert I apologize for ever doubting you

Headline in today's Guardian that reads "Reading and writing can lower dementia risk by almost 40 percent, study finds. Cognitive health in later life is 'strongly influenced' by lifelong exposure to intellectually stimulating environments, say researchers."

This is why you need to be reading books and writing your own emails, by the way. When you outsource your thinking abilities, you risk turning your brain into soup. Heavy dependence on AI has already been linked with severe cognitive decline. What you don’t use, you will lose.

Exactly one year ago today:

just booted up Pokemon Emerald and they put a fucking data center in Little Root Town 😭

William Shatner, looking jolly in the face of death

Hope he has a good dinner but I’m glad he’s finally facing the executioner

I don't know if I'm just too online but my store sold out of Lena Dunham's memoir and I just didn't think she still had the cultural cachet to do that anymore.

The destruction of all search engines is the tech story of the last decade imo

once again being reminded that you bog-standard weird conservative event brings out fewer people than the THERE'S A DUNKIN DONUTS IN SILENT HILL AND I'M GOING TO PROVE IT panel that was held at anime boston on saturday night

“If you were in charge of Star Trek, what would you do?”

I’d make as many episodes of Doctor Who as I could before they stopped me.

My hot take is that it should be illegal for ads to have fake "X" buttons. If I click an "X" and it takes me to your company's webpage I should be allowed to kick the CEO of that company in the nards.

U.S. Fertility Rate Plummets To Pre-Nick Cannon Levels

U.S. Fertility Rate Plummets To Pre-Nick Cannon Levels

Steamed Hams full transcript Well, Seymour, I made it- despite your directions. Ah. Superintendent Chalmers. Welcome. - I hope you're prepared for an unforgettable luncheon. - Yeah. Oh, egads! My roast is ruined. But what if I were to purchase fast food and disguise it as my own cooking? Delightfully devilish, Seymour. Ah- Skinner with his crazy explanations The superintendent's gonna need his medication When he hears Skinner's lame exaggerations There'll be trouble in town tonight Seymour! Superintendent, I was just- uh, just stretching my calves on the windowsill. Isometric exercise. Care to join me? Why is there smoke coming out of your oven, Seymour? Uh- Oh. That isn't smoke. It's steam. Steam from the steamed clams we're having. Mmm. Steamed clams. Whew. Superintendent, I hope you're ready for mouthwatering hamburgers. I thought we were having steamed clams. D'oh, no. I said steamed hams. That's what I call hamburgers. You call hamburgers steamed hams? Yes. It's a regional dialect. - Uh-huh. Uh, what region? - Uh, upstate New York. Really. Well, I'm from Utica, and I've never heard anyone use the phrase "steamed hams. " Oh, not in Utica. No. It's an Albany expression. I see. You know, these hamburgers are quite similar to the ones they have at Krusty Burger. Oh, no. Patented Skinner burgers. Old family recipe. - For steamed hams. - Yes. Yes. And you call them steamed hams despite the fact that they are obviously grilled. Ye- You know, the- One thing I should- - Excuse me for one second. - Of course. Well, that was wonderful. A good time was had by all. I'm pooped. Yes. I should be- Good Lord! What is happening in there? - Aurora borealis. - Uh- Aurora borealis at this time of year at this time of day in this part of the country localized entirely within your kitchen? - Yes. - May I see it? No. Seymour. ! The house is on fire. ! No, Mother. It's just the northern lights. Well, Seymour, you are an odd fellow but I must say you steam a good ham.

Today is officially the 30th anniversary of Steamed Hams. On April 14, 1996, "22 Short Films About Springfield" aired for the first time!

30 years ago today, Principal Skinner purchased fast food to disguise as his own cooking at an unforgettable luncheon with Superintendent Chalmers.

#TheSimpsons episode “22 Short Films About Springfield” first aired April 14, 1996.

Today is the 30th anniversary of Steamed Hams!

Peter Davison being presented with a 75th birthday cake by Nicholas Briggs and Heather Challands, during recording of Doctor Who at the Soundhouse in London.

Many happy returns to the Fifth Doctor, Peter Davison! 🥳

Preaching to the choir here, but I'm an advocate of making people uncomfortable for still supporting Potter stuff. Don't let them try and handwave it away. Make them confront the harm their support enables.

Fence got broke by that weird annoying guy again

A CD case for Hank Green's Ellen Hardcastle (& Other Ephemera) album on top of a laptop covered in various stickers

Thanks to them finding some in the warehouse I've achieved a lifelong goal (or at least a goal of my teenage self) In 2011, @hankgreen.bsky.social released Ellen Hardcastle but I was in HS & had no money & then the album was out of print & not streaming anymore so I never thought I'd ever own it!

When playing certain games, you gotta ask yourself

Am I enjoying this or am I making ice cubes?

You deserve better than ice cubes.

jd vance at the donut shop saying “just whatever makes sense”

jd vance negotiating with Iran