oh! I could totally leave my house at night for this… also how long are you in town

I’ve arrived at middle age bc I’m scandalized!!!!!!

Rebecca Black????

been getting really into Anatoly from Kazakhstan and his indoor pelican Phil

a tiktok ad for migraine medicine feat. lady Gaga

thinking about her

someone kill me before the mandatory Cantina Laredo at the Mall of America team dinner

saw a billboard in PA for Christmas Eve. no other words or information

yesssss a pic of dracula flagged as “graphic media” please this wiener ass app 👍

wife sleeping in the exact center of the bed like this

misread DEER XING as DEER KING and got so scared

venn diagram of bluesky enthusiasts and “the chive” expats

obviously I’d eat the bean-sized man

settle a household debate:

eat a man-sized bean (in 24 hours) or
a bean-sized man (and you kinda know him)

girl I guess

the same crowd who takes horse medicine instead of human vaccines is taking turns hiking up there to get scared by not understanding middle school level earth science

there’s a bunch of tactical cargo pants/lifted dodge ram guys on tiktok who think a giant lives in a mountain in Oregon and the mountain has a door with a hole in it and the giant looked at them through the hole

pov: eating soup in bed

did our loyal viewership of Smash mean NOTHING

4 cats 1 dog

Hamas has the opportunity to do the funniest thing ever

yooo L and I were just saying this like 30 seconds ago… wouldn’t it be a shame etc

*world descends into violent fascism* I’m tired from typing at home

corporate job makes me feel like such a clown… there is no dignity in a 15 hour day immersed in the Microsoft Office 365 Suite

2 pickles, a tortilla, handful of golden raisins, whipped cream in a can

wildest part of being 35 is the soft white goatee forming on my chin

mortgage finally hit my credit report. Lmao

I’m brave enough to say it: Book Club 2 is not a good movie