Walking through the halls of stanford hospital just farting

Ever met a man named Gale? I don’t recommend it.

it’s on my bucket list

the strait of hormuz needs to have regular, predictable open hours or frankly they are going to lose me as a customer

i simply find it a little hard to believe that shortly after every website implemented ai code and fired a bunch of engineers they all started breaking constantly every single day but its not related to the ai code or the skeleton crew

The ghost of kyle lowry is alive and well in davion mitchell’s ass

M. Night Dingledong

Idk if they’re everywhere but a company called DGDG has vanity license plates all over the bay that just say BE HAPPY. Worry about yourself you fucking company

Sometimes when overwhelmed it helps to map out my day

Dumb

chime: Online Banking, For The Whites

Nice obelisk. Be a shame if someone were to incant a Demon Lord from it

Hate the way I feel after eating fast food so the plan is I’ll just keep doing it forever

Time to go lay down and look at my art books

Ordering takeout instead of exercising cuz it’s cloudy

As a middleaged man it’s good to let a video game make me mad. Builds character

Actual question for yall: when you throw a “haha” tag on a text is it cuz you think it sucks? Cuz if it’s funny I’ll just say lol. Tryna understand etiquette and shooting myself in the foot by assuming everyone thinks like me. My close friend throws haha when it’s funny to her and im like FUCK YOUUU

I think one of my two indoor cats has fleas. I’ve never been a single pet owner before. Apparently I need to deep clean everything simultaneously? Sure I’ll just clone myself

(iced cube voice) I got bats in the cave, but don’t call me batman

Oral swab drug test bringing me face to face with my addiction, which I Don’t Necessarily Appreciate

More like VROOM scrolling, look at me go

A computer can never pack a bowl therefore a computer must never make a playlist

Is anyone else playing slay the spire 2. I went from not knowing the silent was female to wanting to fuck her, what a glow up

securing the perimeter used to be cool...

Zero Lunch Thirty

It sucks you can’t make someone brush their teeth

Please do not call me “white brittney griner”

In my why is this happening era

Being a man means sometimes exchanging a nod with another man for no apparent reason