Promised Consort Ronswanson

I heard there was a tasty meal
From Mexico, with great appeal
It's quick to make and could be so much harder
A spicy sauce to make you smile
It's topped with cheese and baked a while
The warming and delicious
Enchilada

I was scrunching up the wrappers for the 6 truffle chocolate eggs I just ate while sat on the sofa and throwing them in the bin when my smart watch complimented me on staying active.

Follow me for more life hacks.

Art is worth the time it takes to create.

I Work Very Hard, And I Would Like To Try Cake By A Horse Hello. I am a horse. I work very hard at my job of being a horse. When humans say move the heavy thing, I move the heavy thing. When humans sit on top of me and pull on my head, I carry them where they want to go. The main food the humans give me is hay and oats. But I am thinking it would be nice to have a different food. I am thinking I would like to try cake. Yes, yes. Cake. I know all about it. When humans eat cake, it is in glad times. It is the food for a celebration, such as when a woman becomes 47. I have seen cake on the Fourth of July. When humans have a cake, they stand around it and clap hands and smile and say happy birthday at each other. Sometimes there are beautiful markings on a cake, such as balloons or a pink shape. Sometimes the top of a cake is on fire and a boy must blow on the fire with mouth wind. This is the scariest cake. I do not want this kind. But I will eat any other cake. Any cake that is not the fire cake that tries to kill the boy. Please understand: I do not get money for doing work. I do not get to go inside the house. All I am either doing my horse job or standing in my pen or eating food off the floor. I always do these things. But I have never once gotten cake and I would like it very much. I have noticed that human children get to eat cake. But I am bigger than the children. I am more helpful to the farm. Children do not move the heavy things like me or let anyone ride on them. And yet they get cake. Maybe the humans will realize this. Maybe they will say, "You know who deserves cake? That horse. That horse whose back we are always on." Every day I dream about what it will be like if I get to eat cake. Here is what will happen. First, I will walk to the cake and putt my nose at it like hrrfff to make and stomping my hooves to make sure it is not a snake. Then I will trot in a circle to show that I am a horse and I am large. After that, I will nuzzle the cake to …

The horse op-ed is an instant classic. I can't tell you how much joy this piece gives me.

It should be taught in every introductory writing class in no small part because the horse arguments are so compelling. "I have noticed that human children get to eat cake. But I am bigger than the children."

Darmok and Jalad! At the Disco

It really cannot be overstated that COVID happened, suddenly a bunch of absentee tech dads were forced to stay home where they saw their kids playing Animal Crossing while talking on Discord, then collectively decided to light a trillion dollars on fire to make Snow Crash IRL.

Artemis II (quote from Arthur C. Clarke)

Artemis II

Artemis II

Artemis II

I'll never get tired of this concept of putting people on top of a massive, high-powered rocket to overcome gravity, and then using that same gravity to explore all sorts of places.

Especially since I'm terrible at math, and "Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic." 😁

Godspeed Artemis II.

moby-dick, his eyes enormous: from hell's heart you STAB at moby? for hate's sake you spit your last BREATH at moby? oh! oh! the great shroud of the sea for ahab! the great shroud of the sea rolling on as it rolled five thousand years ago!!!!

Reports: Tottenham make breakthrough with Roberto De Zerbi to take over now as manager #NoToDeZerbi

#NoToDeZerbi

cartilagefreecaptain.sbnation.com/tottenham-ho...

No to De Zerbi

A scene from The Two Towers. Sam is on his belly with naked twink Sméagol straddling his hips. Frodo pulls his head back by the hair erotically and leans in to his ear while brandishing Sting. It is *extremely* gay.

The Taming of Sméagol, by Donato Giancola, 2010

Hornet

Brilliant game! Destroying/retrieving the ring is deeply satisfying

Is waffle your new nickname for Tatyana

Some kind of purple plastic crafting device for texturising paper called distressing tool

Saw your boyfriend in Hobbycraft

Andrew O'Neill's History Of Heavy Metal YouTube video by Andrew O'Neill

Reminder that my full-band History Of Heavy Metal is available to watch for free on Youtube!

SIT DOWN LARS!

youtu.be/pzmHmtSbfOk?...

I'm live now with Stray 🐈
twitch.tv/tonionio

Good morning and happy Caturday! I'll be back with more Stray in a little bit 🐈

How Taskmaster Helped Me Come to Terms with My Sexuality YouTube video by Kav P

IT'S HERE

IT'S QUEER

(pls help me defeat the algorithms-that-be)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=D0e1...

My boss just said he was surprised I was in after last night. I didn’t know i had the option to not come in after spurs have been beaten. This is a pleasing development

Happy Caturday! First stream of Stray today, and I'm already obligated to show my face. Only £50 away from wearing cat ears the whole time 🐱
www.twitch.tv/tonionio

Here’s a cover I illustrated for the upcoming D&D book, Ravenloft: The Horrors Within. It was such a joy to paint Strahd again 🦇
Art director: AJ Hanneld

Abysmal. Looks great, sounds great, everything comes together

(post gets 4 likes from my friends) i'm an internet sensation

Wow, the evolutions for one of the new Pokémon have leaked!

Can't believe the vet was fat shaming this perfectly formed little creature

I was at the count in Gorton and Denton last night and we all saw Matt Goodwin eat ballot papers. His girlfriend and team begged him to stop but he kept stuffing it into his mouth and making grunting sounds like the Cookie Monster