nougat is sooooo underrated she really is THAT girl

Ugh men suck why do I want their attention so bad

Olivia Rodrigo is really fucking good at music

People in 2000 who want to be able to drink a beer with their President:

I can't believe we, as a society, are doing Lena Dunham discourse again. And apparently out of nostalgia?

I mean, I remember pay at the door being the *typical* way you paid for delivery pizza, when you just always ordered over the phone? And it seems like every delivery pizza place will let you, if only because its institutionalized?

I just do online now

I'm a millennial, not *dead* 😜

Like I haven't done pay at the door since I basically started paying for everything via credit card, but since I now pay for everything via credit card, it seems strange to think I might *not* be able to do that right at the door when he hands me the pizza boxes?

Because mentally, I always think of "pay at the door" as "pay in cash" but I also just, wouldn't be able to do that these days (because now if a place only takes cash it literally makes me angry?), and it would seem like a business *hazard* to not be able to just scan a credit card at the door now?

People who've ordered pizza delivery through the actual pizza place recently: if you choose to "pay at the door" is that effectively agreeing to pay cash? Or is it like, standard now that every delivery driver is going to have a way for you to tap for credit at the door?

More like Chuck those into the wash Taylors, amiright?

James you are the vodka (I am the olive)

Wait I haven't brunch today?

Have any of my oomfies ever been to small claims court I want to hear your experience

🚬y gays in masculine suits will never not tickle me 🤭

Universal-International press materials for Jack Arnold’s 1954 horror show, Creature from the Black Lagoon, done up as the front page of a newspaper. A headline screams, “THE CREATURE STRIKES AGAIN!” over a photograph of the Gill-Man breaking through the page. Other headlines read, “Weekend crowds storm Chicago’s UA Theatre,” “New York Alerted,” “More Cities Fall to ‘Creature,’” and “Pola-Lite Prints Used on Creature Engagement.”

🍿 Ann Arbor and Michiganders! 🍿

It’s a good day for a monster matinee! Join me today at the Michigan Theater at 1:30, where I’ll introduce Creature from the Black Lagoon in 35mm and anaglyphic 3-D. It’ll be fun in every dimension!

Tickets here 🎟️ marquee-arts.org/event-page/?...

RuPaul debuts new "hip-kini" next season

Colin she does not have that kind of core strength she would absolutely break a hip

It often feels like I have to root for my own country to lose and suffer in order for the evil people who run it to face consequences for their actions and I hate hate hate it.

Ok but like how do you even bring this up without deeply insulting them because I've definitely wanted to before ...

Whenever Frieren isn't on the new episode list, all the other animes should be asking, "where's Frieren?"

I have a name 🙄

Damn Ben Platt really can't hold a straight tone for more than a half measure can he?

And what a cock it is!!!

Yes! Several lamb dishes!

Mom's Uyghur!

all the typos are because I am currently orgasming while shoveling the stir-fried lagman into my face

Ok there's this uyghur hand-pulled noodle place that just opened near me and it's DELICIOUS and I need all the DC oomfies to start patronizing it the wonderful old lady who owns it immediately because if goes under I will cry

Looking forward to seeing what case you pick for your new pixel!