finally being w someone who wants the same things as you is wild bc wdym he doesn’t just say “someday” to quell me when i bring up having kids?? wdym he already factors in me and our future family when he’s talking about anything happening in x number of years?? “this one could fit 2 car seats” WDYM
Every day I have to hear about some asshole
this is gonna eat
me too fam
over the past few weeks/months i’ve been experiencing the saddest thing i’ve ever had to experience in my life and i’ve told like 2 people about it and i feel insane : anyway my life is changing in a very big way and i literally don’t know what to do lol
This whole country wants bad things for others more than they want good things for themselves.
game of thrones really needed snl’s wig department
“I just don’t understand why I can’t sleep” she said while staring at the little glowing box of doom in her hand
The Nick Fuentes situation has to be the fuck around/find out scenario of the year
I think it would be fun to play Jacob Marley. You get a lot of business to play with, you get to wear chains, you're in, you leave a big impression, and then you're out.
Did I mention the chains? A great part!
wayward son my wayward son
wayward son when wayward son
A rap battle is two men writing poems about each other
i want a girl with a short rat and a looooooooong touille
Suing Kendrick for having a superior diss track is something Kendrick would say Drake does in a diss track
this is such a legend of zelda ass rock formation
A lot of people don’t realize that Die Hard was originally a pagan movie
Remember when Charlie Sheen was saying "winning" and everyone was like holy shit that is so good
i can’t believe i have to just keep fucking being alive
i still cant believe they bought that freakin zoo
Speaking of eating disorder culture, I really enjoyed the new female-led blockbuster but can’t shake the feeling that it will have potentially fatal consequences for young girls trying to emulate the physique of its A-list star
My wife & I tried role play but we kept fighting over who would be Mr. Bean
Every time I hear DJ! KHALED! I am morally obligated to mutter "Doesn't go down on his wife" no matter where I am or who's around me.
As you can imagine, my teenagers are thrilled every time this happens.
she’s right we do
seeing wicked and there’s ??? a firefly in the theater? just glintin’ around? somehow that’s for me
happy sagittarius szn fucking FINALLYYY it feels good to be at home 😮💨
bill nighy underrated actor
If i was the richest guy in the world i would just do stuff like give the decemberists 100 million dollars to write a concept album about the hardy boys
first time i’ve agreed with her on something