It's not even 6am and here I am on the Red line on my way to Barry's. Kinda hate this for me!!

This is the third wedding I've gone to with my husband where the only person I know is the bride🙃

I know I need to stop making people feel dumb, but I really just wish you bitches were smarter

the bottoming gods were with me tonight

Trying to imagine how stupid you would have to be to write and publish this article. The children left behind are running our media

Rob Rausch for sexiest man alive I am so serious

Happy "post your white man" day to all who celebrate!

In case you didn't get to see what a Puerto Rican Super Bowl party was like yesterday😆🇵🇷

Ricky Martin should cool it with the spray tan lol

I am nice to every vendor I work with except Google. Terrible company top to bottom as far as I'm concerned.

Get Kyle Richards off of my fucking television screen oh my GOD

I made it to almost 34 with not so much as a single crunch when I stretched... but this one scared my dogs it was so loud

Ohhhhh my god u didn't watch heated rivalry? should we tell everyone? Should we throwa party?should we invite jordan firstman

I'm Different gays that didn't watch Heated Rivalry are on the rise, be careful out there!

10 years of this shit

If you own Meta RayBans...you're a cop. I will not be elaborating!

Bronwyn Newport...you dropped this👑

Cardi B is one of my favorite humans

🚨🚨🚨Lisa Rinna is the guest on today's Las Culuristas🚨🚨🚨

My theory is that there are not enough hung men in Chicago to go around🤐

I don't know how much the Intimacy Coordinator for Heated Rivalry was actually paid.. I just know it wasn't enough.

Me: Not coming into the office today, not feeling well. Should I move our coffee meeting with that vendor?
Manager: No I can just take it
Me: Do you need me to prep you with stuff beforehand?
Manager: Ideally, yes
Me: ...so can we reschedule?

(we rescheduled)

I don't think people understand just how fat my ass is

I just can't bring myself to find Rachel Sennott interesting. Loved Bottoms, tho!

I hope the floor he fell on is okay

I can't (can) believe Sidetrack made me dance to Taylor Swift

Well my manager's boyfriend may not like me but he sure does have a thing for my husband!

Aborting his kids at 30,000 ft was a new experience for me this morning

There was a woman on my flight in first class with an iPhone that still had a button on the front...