I don’t even need that many

omfg sorry

no I’m sorry I just don’t understand why grooming a young employee is frowned upon but you’re supposed to groom your dog regularly

makes sense. my stairs are pretty spooky

that’s plenty

My two cats sitting side by side on the stairs, looking past the camera

Looking down

looking up past the camera again

Again past the camera

what the hell are they looking at

you know how northerners always joke about false spring? Like you think it's gonna get warm and then we get a foot of snow and then it melts in 2 days of 60 degree weather and then we think ok now it's gonna get warm and then you get two weeks of 36 degrees straight ? yeah well my pussy does t

[JEDI MASTER] we must resist the darkness

[BIP BOOP] eeeeii

[MASTER] exactly, my droid friend. if only our padawan could see. we must liberate especially the most marginalized from the empire

[SWINGING LIGHTSABER AROUND, MELTING THROUGH BIP BOOP WITH EASE] what does the empire have against butter

Wish my husband would throw up in my mouth. romantic

Extremely poor quality photo of a male and female cardinal on a branch

ohhhhh my god cardinals mate for life and travel in pairs and the males feed the females seed from their beaks ohhhHhhhhgg I love them

change your lettuce change your life

me: hey is this the mouse temple? i'm here to worship the mouse god

snake temple guard: buddy you are lost

It’s so fucking good

web.archive.org/web/20150105... it had me questioning everything for a moment

one of my favorite Internet Moments of all time has to be the body building forum arguing about how many days are in a week

and our conflict will span many generations

if I owned Infowars I would change it to infopeace… but maybe that’s just me…

I don’t have to know what’s going on to get into sports betting

well now that’s not half bad

I don’t particularly believe in the concept of “outer space”

Okay. Now I have a problem

not my problem

I’m pretty sure whatever is capable of making chicken and also storms is capable of burning my armpits to a crisp, again. And I’m pretty sure they’re owned by old spice blue deodorant (the chickens and storms)

you can never be too sure. Nair is a product designed by corporations to subjugate women into unrealistic beauty standards and extract wealth from underpaid labour. hot chicken is a wild animal, made by nature, who also makes hurricanes. seems like an open and shut case.

I ate hot chicken yesterday actually and while it did upset my stomach I don’t think it caused the burn. I’m pretty sure that was the nair. But you never know, really

much dumber this time unfortunately

one day I’m gonna stop burning my armpits but not this day

Ok now that you’ve read palantirs manifesto you should check out this manifesto. You may have heard of it.

www.marxists.org/archive/marx...

Ok well that’s allowed then

It was a rhetorical joke question but I agree, the weed enjoyers must rise up to take back enjoying the day of April twentieth so the nazis can’t have any fun. We should beat them with sticks