Me, on Instagram for 5 hours fluctuating reel by reel in anger and delight: I cant wait to never die

Don Knotts in hell, red hot iron and fire in his mouth, trying to remember the smell of flowers and the sound of laughter: aaaAAAHHHHHHHHHHH

the west wing rocks and so does voting, i was just watching videos of those damn cranes pulling down the building we all love and i felt myself about to weep... i only let a single tear escape thankfully. this is the first truly unacceptable thing he has done

at least theyre not demolishing the west wing... that is my favorite show and whenever i watch it it makes me want to go fucking vote

(cooking chicken alfredo for 6000th time)

google how do i make my chicken alfredo really fucking pop

google AI assistant: No, chicken alfredo does not "pop". It may sizzle or bubble in the pan depending on the temperature and brand of oven. You may be thinking of fireworks

happy pride month

if they made an oscars for sucking and squirting i would have a garage full of those fucking things

enclosures are fire when shelter is the vibe

Cock smells so bad after shitting. But cock smells fantastic after making soup. It's so awesome what happens to cock and stink

A perfectly goofballish answer

That is epic hopefully that sharp little jab is enough to topple all this

I am praying that one day we can unite the Democrats and Republicans so that we can finally create a living, breathing Porky Pig in our reality

They made God for pigs 😃 pigs can now worship and rejoice!

There used to be a water canopy surrounding the earth that made it so every human was 9 feet tall and immortal. The Andromedans stole that from us

Creator God got a cock on him 🙏 🙌 and it stinks 😳

And you didn't whip up none for little old me 🤔

🫵 fuck your own mouth

governor if you dont mind me saying jb pritzker sounds like a brand of bulk pickled vegetables

lovin this prompt because every single movie im seeing people mention is just total ass, like complete hot dog water. it is cool that such different things can be so meaningful to different people

shouldve been ralph fiennes

if i was one of those old ass cardinal mother fuckers i would be barbecueing ribs in the pope announcement chimney

im not sure who's disputing that besides you in your head but if you go to a comic shop and you want book-length comics it probably will help you to have a more specific term to use than just saying "i want a comic book"

hate to break this one to you, especially as someone who generally does not like comics so much, but this is not a distinction of intended prestige as with "elevated horror" v. "horror". it is a distinction of book-length publications v. periodicals.

I thought COINTELPRO was those machines in the grocery store where you dump in a bucket of pennies and it gives you 5 crisp dollar bills

pie's cheap

What does this have even tangentially to do with boredom not existing anymore for people born before 1999

The cavemen would still be alive today if not for seed oils

agriculture is crazy how the fuck do they gonna make shit like this out of some corn and oats 🤣

As a bad guy, the worse shit ever is when my hacker geek goes like "You're gonna wanna see this"

And1 more thing

This was by obligation for my family when our house lost electricity. But now that the electricity is back we are into it just for fun