it really makes me feel like life was not made for me and it makes me question my purpose. i love being optimistic because i want to believe in a better future but i am just further fucking myself up by being alive in situations like this i dont know how to even get there

i just rlly wish i wasn't given the shit end of the stick that i wasnt born and raised in dumbville with nothing to do with unstable parents and a life full of traumatic events that have made me unstable and physical issues that make it hard to work as much as other people and mental problems

us struggling financially and just trying to live our lives and her saying we are "using her" lmfao. lowkey triggering if im being honest

working as hard as i can as much as i can without killing myself and being nowhere near able to afford a place to live !!! lmfao !!!!!!!!!

living with vens mom is getting so bad we are both miserable and i dont even feel comfortable doing anything with how she basically guilts us for using her stuff. why cant we just live our fucking life for Once im trying so hard to be optimistic but how the fuck do i do that in these conditions

ppl will be like you shouldn't have to *try* to get ppl to like you!! and i agree! but im a special case bc if i didnt try i am 100% conditioned and 100% comfortable in just never saying another verbal word ever again and never leaving my house, and that is not good for me !!!!!!

being mostly purposefully / semi accidentally isolated for about 20 years of my life did so much good for my future social escapades !!!! totally fo not fuck up every interaction with my coworkers or anything and definitely dont feel like theres no point in trying anymore 😁😁😁😁