I've been stuck in a road closure for going on five hours.

Oof

The whole Colleen Ballinger situation has me back on YouTube watching hours of content

The only politician I trust is Mayor McCheese

take me back

Watching #RHONY for the first time ever and um does Harry Dubin have a massive dick or something 🤔

Bluesky is for people who are terminally online in the “it’s ya boy tarantula dick” sort of way while Threads is for people who are terminally online in the “everything in my life is Content” sort of way

I'm not doing another reboot. This is it for me. I am not on threads, spill, mastodon, snapchat, etc.

I still can't get over how enormous NY bagels are. Like the hell is going on over there to make bagels that massive

When the twitter mutual doesn't follow you back here

Please welcome to to the stage

I feel like I need someone to parade me out on this platform like I'm being introduced at the grand staircase of a ball

Thanks again, legend 🙌

The power suddenly cuts out.

Your bedroom door slowly swings open.

Out of the darkness a low, menacing voice starts to speak.

"Ladies and gentlemen...this is mambo number five"