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Posts by Rev. Crystal Varner Parker

When the church is being the church it should not be a surprise, yet far too often it is.

Keep loving God and loving your neighbor.
It matters. The steadfast loving kindness of God is meant to be shared not hoarded for the select few of our preferences.

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40 Days of Good Shit (a lenten discipline for cranky people) An invitation to join me

If you’re looking for a Lenten discipline this year, will you join me in taking on @sarcasticlutheran’s 40 days of good shit?

open.substack.com/pub/thecorne...

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In this Lenten season, may you find a discipline or practice that helps connnect you and prepare you to celebrate the great mystery of our faith:
Christ has died.
Christ has risen.
Christ will come again.

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From stardust dust you came and to stardust you shall return.

On this Ash Wednesday, may you remember that you are created and loved by the God of Grace who makes all things new.

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One of the great challenges of ministry: Loving the members of your congregation and grieving the unspeakably challenging times they endure. We cannot change what’s happening, but can only be pray and be present.
Today I lament cancer.
It’s affecting too many.
It has taken the lives of too many.

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Dear Siri,

You have failed this #JapaneseAmerican family.

No, we do not want “fur cocktail” or “fruitcake,” but we would like furkikake on our shopping list.

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Reminder: In Virginia, you can register to vote on Election Day through same-day voter registration. This lets you register in person and cast a provisional ballot if you missed the regular registration deadline. Your vote will be counted once eligibility is confirmed, so don’t sit this one out!

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Hey!
Yes, I’m talk to you.

🇺🇸 G O V O T E ! 🗳️

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Dear #apple autocorrect,

I do in fact mean pericope NOT periscope.

Sincerely,
CVP
@pcusa.bsky.social Minster of Word and Sacrament

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The youngest has entered the chat #NFL
Yesterday’s game was played between the @wshcommanders.bsky.social and the lightning bolt rainbows. ⚡️🌈🤣

Sorry not sorry, @chargers.bsky.social, for the Commanders win or the new name.

6 months ago 0 0 0 0
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The oldest is at it again @nflscores.bsky.social…
Tonight’s game is being played between the Seattle falcons and the Arizona robins. 😂
Sorry not sorry, #seattleseahawks and #arizoncardinals

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Here’s to trying new things…
Today I took my first tap class, followed by my first ballet class.

They were challenging.
They were fun.
They are worth doing again.

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Worship for September 28, 2025 Liturgy and worship plan for Sunday, September 28, 2025 (Proper 21)

Another week of worship planning is live for September 28th over on my substack.
hebrewdawn.substack.com/p/worship-fo...

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Don’t get me wrong.
I love and miss my husband when he’s not around, but my oldest’s quick jump to aid in the sarcasm was elite.

7 months ago 1 0 0 0
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a woman in a floral shirt is laughing with her eyes closed ALT: a woman in a floral shirt is laughing with her eyes closed

I can fully claim my oldest as my own…

Husband: What did y’all do for dinner?
Me: Sadness and disappointment.
Oldest: Yeah, they were sad sandwiches.
Husband: What made them sad?
Oldest: She cried the whole time she was making them, because she missed you so much.

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Time spent at the beach reading and being with friends is good for the soul.

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

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I love having a child that plays an instrument she loves. She can pick it out in songs when I’m oblivious to its presence.

Tonight’s example is “Ordinary” by #AlexWarren. She requested this song for our carpool playlist, because it has the harp in it. I was oblivious but she knew it began with it.

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a young boy is laying on a blue merry go round in a park ALT: a young boy is laying on a blue merry go round in a park

This might be them come Friday afternoon:

8 months ago 1 0 0 0
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They’ve done all the things.
They’ve felt all the feels.
They need a soft place to land.

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If your kids started school this week, here is my reminder for what not to do on Friday:

1️⃣ Do not make plans to go somewhere.
2️⃣ Do not make elaborate plans.
3️⃣ Do not plan for it to be a late night.

Regardless of their age, these school age humans are tired.

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@atlantafalcons.bsky.social are now the hawks

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@tampabaybuccaneers.bsky.social are now the pirates

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The youngest is committed to the @bengais.bsky.social being the bagels. 😂

These kids love remaining #nfl teams.

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I know the @philadelphiaeagles.bsky.social believe it’s a real play, but I firmly believe the “tush push” is made up.

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Watching the @wshcommanders.bsky.social with my fam and the oldest goes, “who’s that other team? The beagles?”
Sorry, not sorry, @bengais.bsky.social you have a new name.

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We were considering Boxcast awhile back as the sound company we worked with recommended.
BUT we hadn’t made the switch due to the cost. Super helpful to hear you are looking to move away from it.

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This definitely helps!
We’re a smaller church too (150ish) and trying to figure out options.
Our current laptop and camera aren’t cutting it and I want better audio.

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Hey church folks that livestream,

What are you using for equipment?
What do you love?
What do you wish you were using?

Thanks,
A pastor struggling with unreliable equipment.

#ministryquestion
#pastorlife
#digitalministry
#livestreamworship

8 months ago 0 0 1 0
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two men in suits and sunglasses are standing next to each other in a dark room ALT: two men in suits and sunglasses are standing next to each other in a dark room
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Whistle While You Work by Rachel Zegler, Jason Kravits, George Salazar, Jeff Morrow, Andy Grotelueschen, Tituss Burgess, Martin Klebba & Jeremy Swift on Apple Music Song · 2025 · Duration 3:02

Tell me you’re Xennial parents…
I’ll go first.

Daughter given DJ rights in the car.
This song begins to play, and my husband says he was more familiar with a different “Whistle While You” song.

music.apple.com/us/album/whi...

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