100mg strawberry gummy Nikki 😎 #infinitynikki

My cousin Shawn took weed to impress a girl when we were teenagers and his asshole & penis switched places. All the doctors at the (real) Pitt threw up when they saw it. Be my guest and Get “high” if you want this to happen to you

VERY COOL PERSON: It's four-twenty, you know what that means?

ME: Hell yeah! [starts shoving blackbirds into a pie]

Waiting for 2.5 like #infinitynikki

Wishing everyone the best of times during the worst of times #infinitynikki

Steamed Hams full transcript Well, Seymour, I made it- despite your directions. Ah. Superintendent Chalmers. Welcome. - I hope you're prepared for an unforgettable luncheon. - Yeah. Oh, egads! My roast is ruined. But what if I were to purchase fast food and disguise it as my own cooking? Delightfully devilish, Seymour. Ah- Skinner with his crazy explanations The superintendent's gonna need his medication When he hears Skinner's lame exaggerations There'll be trouble in town tonight Seymour! Superintendent, I was just- uh, just stretching my calves on the windowsill. Isometric exercise. Care to join me? Why is there smoke coming out of your oven, Seymour? Uh- Oh. That isn't smoke. It's steam. Steam from the steamed clams we're having. Mmm. Steamed clams. Whew. Superintendent, I hope you're ready for mouthwatering hamburgers. I thought we were having steamed clams. D'oh, no. I said steamed hams. That's what I call hamburgers. You call hamburgers steamed hams? Yes. It's a regional dialect. - Uh-huh. Uh, what region? - Uh, upstate New York. Really. Well, I'm from Utica, and I've never heard anyone use the phrase "steamed hams. " Oh, not in Utica. No. It's an Albany expression. I see. You know, these hamburgers are quite similar to the ones they have at Krusty Burger. Oh, no. Patented Skinner burgers. Old family recipe. - For steamed hams. - Yes. Yes. And you call them steamed hams despite the fact that they are obviously grilled. Ye- You know, the- One thing I should- - Excuse me for one second. - Of course. Well, that was wonderful. A good time was had by all. I'm pooped. Yes. I should be- Good Lord! What is happening in there? - Aurora borealis. - Uh- Aurora borealis at this time of year at this time of day in this part of the country localized entirely within your kitchen? - Yes. - May I see it? No. Seymour. ! The house is on fire. ! No, Mother. It's just the northern lights. Well, Seymour, you are an odd fellow but I must say you steam a good ham.

Today is officially the 30th anniversary of Steamed Hams. On April 14, 1996, "22 Short Films About Springfield" aired for the first time!

Time mage Nikki casts haste on the party and quickens their downfall #infinitynikki

a frame from the movie total recall where a character keeps repeating "two weeks"

Don't taco Tuesday this shit. Millions of people spent the day wondering if they would get vaporized, and no one in our government stood up to him. Nothing cutesy about it.

Listen, even the southern chicken lawyer from Futurama could convict Trump of genocide.

Heavy war anxiety has me living in this ersatz Romani sunrise fantasy, maybe forever #infinitynikki

Time for it to happen. Right away, please.

After a long day of bonking postal workers, I enjoy a nice soak 👍 #infinitynikki

Did the war work? Is he back?

(to the tune of Eleanor Rigby)
Jonathan Majors

(also to the tune of Eleanor Rigby)
Fell through a window

Dua Lipa sounds like instructions from an Italian ballet teacher.

Today would be a great day for it to happen.

BOO #infinitynikki

The cabbage head (despite being WAY overpriced) is actually giving me my entire life rn #infinitynikki

This goes so hard lol #infinitynikki

Goddess finds my spoon tragically boring 🤷‍♂️ #infinitynikki

Two different buckets are evaluated side by side.

(pails, in comparison)

*running down the street trying to catch a cab, squeezing a baked potato straight out of the skin into my mouth like gogurt*

Just a few glitter monsters before we all tumble down the rabbit hole #infinitynikki

Wild that these people want to bring Jesus back. Where exactly to they think he’s going to launch them?

Thank god for reruns bcuz I’ll be using this hair until the servers shut down 👍 #infinitynikki

The Strait of Hormuz is open for transit

If you trade one LotR book for another, that’s a fungible Tolkien *gunshot*

sometimes, if you’re up early enough, you can hear them turn the birds on

I love how they stationed the spa in an area with objectively terrifying music. It’s like DEATH AWAITS AT THE JUICE BAR #infinitynikki