I'd tell Silicon Valley to go read a book but they just get worse ideas. They'd read Catch-22 and conclude that we need chocolate covered cotton

I have discovered my words wrong. In my defense, I didn't pay attention in wording class

This is because they used to bake the slices of bread one slice at a time before they discovered loaves

Me when my when I have to eat the kids' leftovers after I just had seconds:

Sorry bro, can't let you have this Gogurt. It's too good that it'll unshackle you from reality, bro.

Every AI commercial is like "Hey AI, what goes good on a sandwich?" and then the AI is like "Have you considered... cheese?" And then the narrator is like: THE FUTURE IS HERE.

leftists are my greatest adversary because they are destroying america destroying america or being rude to you online? being rude to me online

liberals on this microblogging website

Hell yeah!

terrified large muscular jester

Learn something new everyday

Pretty funny question considering he absolutely refused to charge Trump for obvious treason

I'm sorry that i took down Bluesky due to being too sexy 😔

Doing the Lord's work

I'm hoping for a Bluetooth knife

A WHOLE CIVILIZATION WILL DIE TONIGHT My son needs lunch, and I have to put his backpack together, but a whole civilization will die tonight, so I'm wondering if they've closed their schools. Like, a snow day, maybe, except instead of snow it's "keep your children home so if you die, you die together" — instead of "well open back up once the plows have cleared" it's "we don't know if we'll be here tomorrow, hold your babies tight." It's just "talk" I'm told, which I've been told before. "It's how the president makes his deals." But I've never heard anyone talk about other human beings this way, and I'm not certain I can look my son in the eyes if we all agree to stomach it one more time. A civilization will die tonight, but as I zip up his backpack and kiss him off to school I think: if this is what we call leadership then I'm not entirely sure ours isn't already dead. @michaelfdubois Mukad A QuBoy @michacifdubois

Brutal.

🏇

This would fix America...by making us so angry we finally snap

Oofta. Had a similar scare last year

Hose going into a drain. You can see the floor below through the drain

From the floor below perspective. You can see the hose hanging through the drain hole

Hey boss, got that drain unclogged for ya. She ain't getting clogged again anytime soon

Hose going into a drain. You can see the floor below through the drain

From the floor below perspective. You can see the hose hanging through the drain hole

Hey boss, got that drain unclogged for ya. She ain't getting clogged again anytime soon

A seagull being deflected by googly eyes on a container of fries

OI

As an engineer, yes

Don't worry. That's meat from humans

It's a sign that you haven't been poisoned enough yet

the capitol was invaded by exactly 7000 pedophiles who all own car dealerships

Also funny that he wants to build somewhere that will be underwater

Our reckless pursuit of the excesses and pleasures of AI rip the aether apart and birth Piss Jugman into the corporeal like the birth of Slaanesh

Bro that's some lame as fuck trolling

I got a real sneaky guy for grabbing stuff. I pay him in raw fish