Somewhere, that guy is doing this over and over again cuz his voice is the Death Note and he doesn't realize it.

There's no doubt It will Happen. The timeframe is the only matter. The longer we have to wait, the more apathetic we're going to become. Don't fall prey to apathy. It will Happen. It's as certain as Taxes. Hopefully It will Happen soon. Very soon.

With the help of the Sandy Hook families, The Onion has reached a long-awaited deal to take over InfoWars.

We've enlisted the help of @timheidecker.bsky.social, who will be InfoWars' Creative Director.

Please stand by for more.

Everything costs one hundred dollars Everything costs one hundred dollars Everything costs one hundred dollars Buying three sandwiches, that’s a bill

”the economy’s great! No inflation at all!’

Woke up in pain today. Shoulders especially hurting. Here's the apparent thought process:

"Wow, my shoulders really hurt today. Work's gonna suck later. But before that, since I've got some time, why don't I just casually move some heavy furniture around? That sounds great."

i would be on facebook. i would take to tumblr. i would be in amazon reviews celebrating. i'd be posting my zingers in wikipedia edit notes

Vibratin through existence like a dildo wand with infinite charges.

Did you know: There's HD video of Here Comes The Pizza?

People with ADHD can play by themselves at home

Or maybe they just want to go swingy swing on a choppa. I'm no deep space science guy.

People who have been in space apparently have a few physical ailments that can happen to them if they're not tended to correctly. I think having to ride on a boat after being in space does something to their equilibrium or bodies or something that is undesirable. There's some health aspect to it.

Valentina

A SKLETON VERY TIRED AND OVER STIMULATED "FEELS LIKE IM A KID AGAIN" TOO BAD I HATED THAT SHIT!!! TOO BAD I HATED EXISTING AT THE WHIM OF A BUNCH OF DIFFRENT PEOPLE THAT DIDENT REALLY LIKE ME, UNDER THREAT OF COMPLETE DESTRUCTION BY OUR OWN GOVERMENT, AND OTHER GOVS, ECT ECT ANY WAY DA REST OF DA TEXT "COMPLETELY POWERLESS, NUCLEAR ANNIHILIATION THREATS, NO ONES HELPING, CONSTANT IMPENDING FEELING OF DOOM, FANTASIZE ABOUT LIVING IN 1800S OR 2300S ANY TIME THATS NOT NOW, THERE MAKING A SUPER MARIO MOVIE" WELL HOPE YOUR HAVEN A GOOD DAY AND KICKEN A$$ AND MANIFESTING JUST 1 LUCKY BLOOD CLOT IN 1 UNLUCKY GUY COULD BE ANYONE DONT SAY WHO JUST THINK ABOUT IT ALOT AND REALLY HARD - DASHARE.ZONE ADMIN

THIS SUCK'S LOL - dashare.zone ADMIN

Ray Tracer from ReBoot holding up a mug of some party juice.

Check yourself. Are you far too Online today? Try Loggin Off, it relieves tension.

When Comcast rebranded as Xfinity and they sent a guy around our neighborhood to try and sell us on the same shitty service we had just dumped. The guy says to my dad, "I'm from Xfinity." My dad says, "So, you're from Comcast then." And the guy deadass says, "We're not Comcast, we're Xfinity."

A RABBIT SKELTEAN EMERGES FROM DA CAVE WHERE HE LAID DOWN 3 DAY'S AGO... WITH A BIG A$$$ JOINT HELL YEA AND IT SAYS "HE IS RESIN" BECAUSE IM SMOKIN THAT GOOP AND KICKEN ASS - DASHARE.ZONE ADMIN I WILL KICK ASS LATER WHEN IM LESS TIRED - DASHARE.ZONE ADMIN

LEFT MY ROOM BEFORE NOON - dashare.zone ADMIN

Guy 1: Will you sign my petition Guy 2: Yeah Petition: "Make them go back and add a scene in nightmare before christmas where they go to good-fridaytown and witness the crucifixion" Guy 2: hell yeah

Seeing people posting their favorite Good Friday tweets, and I'd feel remiss if I didn't share this amazing @bransonreese.bsky.social comic

What in the sam hill this got to do with hockey? Not even puck shaped.

Libs and Lefties showing their whole asses by bringing back the r-slur and lol ur gay homophobia jokes because the whole system is being pulled so far right that we've escaped the Overton window and now we're all chewing on the vinyl moulding.

Writing prompt: an AI bot whose sole purpose is stealing the code of other AI bots and giving that info to even different AI bots to add to their LLMs

"we were given soulless advertising slop as kids too and we turned out fine!" ok, but, we didn't though. we didn't turn out fine at all. wait, do you think we turned out fine? oh god do you think you turned out fine? do you think you're doing fine? that is so fucked up. I'm so sorry. you poor thing.

a cartoon character with glasses is standing in front of a wall with graffiti on it ALT: a cartoon character with glasses is standing in front of a wall with graffiti on it

I even color coded the note. "Disinfectant is [DARK BLUE]. Floor cleaner is [Blue-Green like Baja Blast]."

Meanwhile, I can't get my coworkers to stop making up spray bottles of non-disinfectant floor cleaner because they won't even read the not about how not to do that, let alone the labels on both of the bottles.

27th President of the United States William Howard Taft confirmed for The Super Mario Galaxy Movie - new poster

"We made it boys. We may not be getting paid, but we finally get to protect someone in a public bathroom who doesn't need a stepstool to reach the toilet!"

At what point in The Struggle do I finally get to skip the world-ending meltdowns and get right to the Alright Let's Fix This part? It should go directly to the Alright Lets Fix This part. The whole other part is a useless waste of my time and energy.

I hate so much that I'm at a point in my life where something comes up that involves change and struggle and I still have a complete spiraling meltdown but that I can also articulate and verbalize that I am Going Thru It. Why do I still need the Going Thru It part????