He’s giving us the E.T. Files instead.

Something’s happened that Elon doesn’t want us talking about.

two men in suits and ties are sitting at a table eating dinner . Alt: Leo DiCaprio as Howard Hughes

This weirdo is probably storing his own urine just for that purpose. No added fentanyl needed!

a very fat child is eating a cookie and making a face . Alt: a child is trying to decide which cookie to eat

Kristi Noem reading this:

I miss when you could post Brave Norman Rockwell Townsperson and the caption could be, like, “R.E.M was wrong to leave ‘Fretless’ off of Out of Time” instead of “The secret police should stop murdering people.”

This is where I tell you to watch the prequel series Caprica

I have ADHD and a flat ass. Butt phrenology is a lie.

You’ve heard of Epstein’s Island? Welcome to Epstein’s Bunker.

They’re reinforcing the bunkers in anticipation of the next American Revolution.

‘Sup girl

Poster for the film “White House Down”

I understand his hesitation, in many areas of Arkansas the police ARE the drug dealers.

This is an awkward question for Tom because Arkansas law enforcement is traditionally complicit in drug trafficking.

I think it’s because we might discover there’s a lot of youthful looking 97 year old men taking 16 year old girls to prom.

Hegseth’s name card says “SSECRETARY OF WAR”

As if the name change to Department of War wasn’t bad enough, now he’s writing his title in parseltongue. 🐍

Whew chile those tribunals gon be 🔥🔥🔥

The entertainment journos writing stories about how the Stranger Things actors look too old for their roles need to look at a 1987 high school yearbook and find just one student who looks younger than 35.

On this Turkey Eve I want to give you some sage advice:
Don’t experiment on Thanksgiving. You experiment by your damn self.

I hope someone told him not to thaw the turkey before frying.

I’m sure they want to get rid of her once & for all.

lol WHAT?!?! There absolutely are coaches who whine about it often.

no that was the patriots

He’s just really upset that he got all dressed up yesterday and Zohran still didn’t call him.

Trump lifting up a jam box Say Anything style

Outside Zohran’s apartment:

Donald Trump holding a big jam box above his head Say Anything style

Valentine’s Day 2026 outside Gracie Mansion:

Mamdani thinking: OMG please don't let the NSA give him my personal cell. Trump thinking: OMG he's S00000 dreamy!

Mamdani thinking: OMG please don't let the NSA give him my personal cell. Trump thinking: OMG he’s soooo dreamy!