Jury summons from the county of San Luis Obispo.

I made it 42 years and 6+ months before finally getting caught up in their dragnet.

B L I M P I E S

Big deal. I’ve run one of these and felt the joy of accomplishment after. This bag of bolts could never!!

Just mixed up 3+ pounds of cookie dough who wants to be my friend?

CHARLIE BROWN: Yes mistress, you're right, mistress, I'm a blockhead! a hopeless blockhead!

DOMINATRIX: wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah

I’m nothing if not on the record as a huge Manchester United fan and part owner. Big win for us.

The only person whose entry got a disclaimer that his views don’t represent those of the Secretary of State is so offensive and unhinged that I won’t paste it here but I will share his email address, which is STOPtheIRS@hotmail.com.

Only an Airbnb owner could be like, “I’ve managed to make this California property profitable, surely I can manage the 4th largest economy in the world!”

Candidate for California governor statement from Naomi Bar-Lev. It says: “The party system has definitively failed us. Media's incomplete reporting, unforgivable. My background includes a BA in Economics, UCLA, real estate broker for 20 plus years, construction experience, vice president, managing hundreds of loan officers and agents, to a robust Airbnb business. Improvements were made to my property to double the business's income, the very year vandalism and espionage against me began. Survival of continued attacks has enlightened me! I wrote a primer about the tyranny that has taken over, its explosive corruption, its use of police, the courts, technology, corporatism (https://www.linkedin.com/in/naomi-bar-lev-56b894346). Big tech partnerships now are violating civil and consumer rights as well as anti-trust law. At the center are fusion centers, hubs of information and military grade technology-6 centers statewide run by "local police". They have connected all devices, espionage made possible against the individual and business, which has transformed the courts. I am no friend to politicians. As governor, fusion centers will be for serious investigations of fraud, theft, and waste, a healthy revenue source with a leaner budget. Police will return to neighborhoods, fighting crime, taking reports equally among citizens, using a constitutionally compliant database. Phones and devices will be recalled, past services refunded, phone, alarm systems, wifi ... "Partnerships" and non-disclosure agreements in government will be eliminated. A hiring spree to stock consumer and civil rights agencies, local and state leaders replaced by public servants. No sales, income, or property tax. Parking fees and permit fees will be eliminated.

Another winner.

Candidate statement from California candidate Frederic C Schultz. It states: “Please elect me governor, to save our rights/lives. We're in an Emergency: I'll declare a State of Emergency, to save us! Murderous government thugs kill us daily, for the "crimes" of seeking asylum, documenting attacks, protesting. California arrests 800,000 annually, most for unconstitutional victimless/consensual "crimes", enslaving 200,000 daily, without telling jurors we can always vote "not guilty". "Drug" prohibition/ regulation causes trillions in medical costs, murders, poverty worldwide, making millions refugees, torturing sick people to death. Millions Americans homeless, half destitute. We'll tax 5% wealth over $10,000,000 and income over $1,000,000, yielding $1,100,000,000,000 annually, retroactively even. Rent freeze! No lockdowns or forced vaccinations: optional and real food instead! I support school choice and oppose reverse discrimination: equal opportunity instead. We'll increase California State Guard from 900 to 2,000,000, one per classroom, stopping most murders, including by ICE nationwide, preventing martial law, closing slavery/death camps, pardoning innocent slaves! We'll enforce bodily autonomy rights, to abortion, assisted suicides and guns. Human rights to housing ($10,000 homes), living wages, jobs, income, higher/trade education, healthcare (nationwide), food (worldwide), childcare, public transport without deadly high speed trains. Free utilities/gasoline, but save environment. We'll ban pesticides, factory farms, "autonomous" vehicles. No sales taxes or income taxes under $100,000! We'll enforce our rights to democracy: Equal vote and chance to serve (publicly financed elections). Privacy rights: No mass surveillance, "Flock" spying cameras.”

A lot is made over the mythical median voter but I think we’ve found him.

Couldn’t possibly be more in bounds on this.

Among the layers of stupidity here, the idea that all of these rent-seeking motherfuckers won't raise prices on the subscriptions once your operations and income are dependent on them is I Was Literally Born Yesterday stupid. Only a baby would believe it!

Question from the Dashboard Confessional subreddit: what is Dashboard’s best line?

Reply to the subreddit: “On the way home. This car hears my confessions. I think tonight I'II take the long way." Is my personal favorite. Reminds me of all the in the car thinking time.

Doing my once-every-5-years tradition of listening to way too much Dashboard Confessional and lmao

curry, liver and veg combo, Grimsby Town FC, £4

trying to order the world’s tiniest violin to play but it sounds like it isn’t being allowed to pass through some major waterway or something oh well

I’ll be doing my part to hold the (very short) line 🫡

a good one for a resistance lib account or whatever they are now would be to call him Pete Hagueseth because that's where we should send him

This is the hobo behavior they’ve been accusing him of for years on Chapo.

How much P.O.D. do we think JD is listening to on a regular basis? He is absolutely pumping himself up for the negotiations with the song The Messenjah.

Just skip right to penalties in their next game. It'll be 210 mins of the two teams just staring at each other.

JD Vance being subject to the fastest excommunication in the history of the Catholic Church is content that I didn’t know I needed as bad as I do.

Mannequin Pussy: Tiny Desk Concert YouTube video by NPR Music

It’s everything I could’ve ever wished it to be.

men only want one thing* and it’s disgusting

*to spend their last breaths on earth in the presence of Nicole Kidman

I was reading a CNBC summary on it yesterday and it is crazy complex. No idea how any non-CPA will be able to fully understand every carve out in it.

V I N DI CA T E D

My opinions about the Dutch aside, it’s a great fit.

“It turns out, God is actually pissed off in a very Old Testament way and we are not actually homies.”

What about posting where you buy your threads because that's a good looking shirt.

I think if he gets hit by lightning today, I’d be willing to scrap and rethink my entire theology.