i love being a little spiritually woowoo. it’s both powerful & freeing

i just feel its MS in my bones. it runs in the family and i have so many common symptoms. ive had these symptoms on/off for years and have gotten brushed off so much because i can still function. i want to get a scan during an active flare-up like this when lesions are most likely to be visible

might start calling around to imaging centers and see if i can get a brain MRI without a referral. i don’t have insurance, so i’d rather pay out of pocket for imaging and /just see/ first than drop hundreds/thousands on trying to fight with doctors and just to get a referral

another reason to move to portland : i love seafood and coffee. especially coffee. i wanna be able to walk somewhere and get a coffee!!!

HELPED MY POOKIES MOVE TODAY AND I AM SO EXCITED!!! they are now only a 10 minute drive away instead of 30+ 😭🫶

this constant headache is killin me man. my cocktail of otc pain meds does nothing

oregon calls to my soul.. i cannot escape its allure..

watching house tours of the craftsman houses in portland or got me buzzing. i love these houses so much. i want to own one one day!!!!!!

im trying to ignore the symptoms but they are frustrating. i was at least able to (mostly) avoid the intense headache today by taking excedrin & ibuprofen as soon as it started. im so over it already

but on the flip side, my symptoms felt so bad today. i usually only have occasional spasms, but today i noticed consistent tremors in my hands/arms & more frequent spasms. my legs felt so heavy snd my knees ached. i was in a bad derealization-depersonalization state. my brain was buzzing for hours

today was simultaneously so amazing yet so discouraging

had a great time exploring my city, visiting new stores, and meeting new people. i loved getting to see all the artwork at the show and getting all these goodies from different stores

i neeed…

new blanket is in !! :D
Now live in the shop
here> howdylake.bigcartel.com

took so many ibuprofen and it’s done nothing 💔 gonna have to try migraine meds tomorrow

the pain has started in my legs today too. everything feels heavy and weak. i feel as if i am withering away rn

this daily migraine im having is killing me

i used to struggle with more chronic fatigue & POTs symptoms, but those thankfully subsided when my daily stress-level decreased. the nerve & neurological symptoms persist though and that makes me very nervous about MS potentially creeping up on me

MS runs in my family so i fear it will come for me (if it has not already)

i still don’t exactly know what’s wrong with me, but i’m having some sort of flare up the past few days 💔 my newer symptom (involuntary head turning/jerking) is particularly bad and i am annoyed by it

what hurts me the most is seeing young people relate to who relate to jax say “people who hate jax would hate me”, especially when so many people go on to imply jax is better off dead

while fictional, jax represents a very real “too-far-gone / beyond redemption” belief about real people

i didn’t like jax at first, but i like him now. he reminds me of my brothers & my ex — all ppl who hurt me tremendously — but i came to understand later in life. jax is plagued by grief & it manifests as anger, detachment, and resentment. it doesn’t excuse how he acts, but it explains it

tadc

jax is written to be disliked, but it makes me sad that ppl so vehemently hate him & want him to just abstract already.. 💔

my brain feels like it is surging right now!!!

posted giveaways on all 4 socials… guys im scared (in a good way.. but also in a way that still stresses me out)

i steal

game is good but i struggle to play for more than 30 minutes at a time because i get so stressed 😭

this sounds sooo yummy omg.. i gotta try to make it!!!!

i am NOT good at gaming and have 0 coordination and the combat in this game is so hard to me.. enemies get so overwhelming so fast

started a new fun relaxing game last night ☺️💕 sure hope it won’t stress me out and break my heart!

3 years ago i was at my lowest i’ve ever been financially, mentally, & physically. i was in the deepest pit of depression i’ve ever experienced, the most suicidal i’ve ever been, and had just a couple hundred bucks left to me. and now i am here.. life is genuinely so fucking crazy