I'm a patient man.

Goodnight, son.

I made a $50 NY strip fresh from the butcher, sous vide and butter basted with garlic and thyme and served cubed with chives, short sweet potato fries sautéed in beef fat with sage and parmigiana, and a buttermilk biscuit halved with whipped cream. It's not for you. It's for Ted.

There are two kinds of people: those who say "What, no, ewww" and those who say "Hell yeah I do" when you ask if they wanna see something gross.

Original stock for reference. Way too light, orange-red rather than purple-red, very bad stain job. I've never done anything like this before and I'm so pleased with how it came out.

The grip and M-LOK bits were custom made. Needed the stock and upper handguard to match them. Sanded with 600 grit, added eggplant wood stain, sanded with 1000 grit, and then hit them with some 2K clear coat. Very tickled with how it came out.

I made you butter-sauteed gnocchi in a creamy slightly spicy San Marzano tomato sauce with a lot of fresh spinach, balsamic onions, finished with parmigianno and a drizzle of honey, served with cheesy garlic bread. Enjoy.

I made you some penne pasta. Enjoy.

Next up in the AK furniture files, this Yugo upper handguard was stained shittily at the factory, and I needed it to match the stock. I burned it over a gas stove, sanded it, applied rosewood stain, and then finally tung oil. Now I have to make them both match some custom MLOK bits.

She is obsessed with me and would die for me and I for her. She's my familiar now. I don't even set alarms for work anymore - she wakes me up in the morning by shoveling her nose between my face and the pillow.

Best dog I've ever had, hands down. So loving and pure and grateful and gentle. She just needed some love (and a spay). Results not typical, rescue street dogs at your own risk, etc.

This pit bull was found in the snow, frostbitten paws, jaw askew, teeth broken from being kicked in. Scars on her neck and jaw. Tried to murder every dog she met, would pull the harness so hard she'd choke herself trying to dog fight.

Now she has to sleep on her heated blanket with her kitten.

A copper penny that has been smelted into the shape of a pit bull fighting to keep her eyes open on a black comforter.

Pit bull Penny.

Good me.

I made you some chicken fajita mac and cheese with poblano and adobo chipotle peppers. And some broccoli sauteed with lime juice and red pepper flakes, idk. Enjoy.

I... uh. Okay, man.

Commenting anything containing "Kalashnicarver" at me is a block. Fuck that guy.

An AK variant with a weird angled slant on the back of the receiver and a very long stock tang.

A furniture-less rifle with plastic clay covering up its unmentionables suspended over a glazed white pot on a hardwood floor, bottles of silicone mold next to it, a fur-covered rug, some guitars in the background.

An ass-end negative of the rifle in solidified silicone molding, waiting for some dyed resin.

Suspending a pristine never-fired 30+ year-old Chinese AK-47 with a dog leash from a folding ladder and pouring silicone mold around it because my custom wood guy won't make a stock for me unless he has a template for its weirdly angled ass.

What it says on the tin.

For Valentine's Day, I made you Cajun chicken alfredo, but it's a pizza. Enjoy.

The caption already described it. It's in a blue bowl, if that helps paint the picture.

I made you velveted honey sriracha chicken over some rice and soy sauce sautéed broccoli and asparagus. Enjoy.

Happy gently used Arsenal SAM5 which is halfway converted to an AR-M9 with KNS piston already installed day to all who celebrate. Bonus Zenitco RK-6 handstop.

I'm happy to report that, due to getting laid off last year, the racist pedophilic cannibalistic billionaires owe ME money this year.

Would you believe she "ate too much candy earlier" and only had four bites of this. Infuriating.

Best chicken parm in the world. Copyright symbol. Guaranteed.

You broil the chicken parm's mozz and THEN put the reduced all'assassina sauce on top of the chicken, rather than chicken then sauce then cheese. You gotta maintain crunch.

Then mellow out the all'assassina with heavy cream. Serve and/or eat.

I already described it in the post caption, man.

I made you chicken parm and spaghetti all'assassina. Enjoy.

Imagine a glom of frozen chicken tenders pulled from a bag that has glued itself into a whole breaded chicken, if you will.

Bruh

Nice.

A milled Norinco MAK-90 sporter AK-47 variant with an ugly thumbhole stock new in its plastic, surrounded by all-original styrofoam and accessories.

Three AKs displayed in a gun safe: a spruced up Zastava M90, a somewhat unshittified CA C39V2, and the Norinco MAK-90, each with a 30-round magazine that fits their respective aesthetic.

Happy 30+ year-old new-in-box, unfired, pristine Norinco MAK-90 day to all who celebrate. Milled, not stamped. Smells like cosmoline and Dengism.

True. Penny is a pretty gal.