"Hi, I'm Johnny Knoxville, Welcome to JACKASS! Today we're using copilot professionally"

Sing that says "Caution, don't try this at home"

Waiting for this disclaimer

Weird how the status part flipped from the smaller your phone was the more prestige it probably was to the other way round.

I remember (just, because I am of vintage stock) getting the Motorola Star tac when it came out, and it felt awesome because it

A. Was super small compared to most phones and for in your pocket
B. Flipped open like a star trek communicator or something sci-fi

Meme of a young child with face covered in black marker, with the phrase "space shitters clogged"

www.theguardian.com/science/2026...

Congratulations on the new venture, I hope every success comes your way.

Launch RUMvision 2.0 - the future of RUM is here! Real User Monitoring

So proud of our team! RUMvision 2.0 is live - a total rewrite from the ground up.

We're making web performance actionable so every click counts. New UI, API, and automated to do's (with fixes) on your real-time data. Happy but tired now 😉

www.rumvision.com/blog/launch-...

a man in a military uniform is standing in front of a room with people sitting at tables . Alt: a man in a military uniform is standing in front of a room with people sitting at tables, saying right to jail

If you take the last slice of the free pizza with the toppings he likes by accident, instant manual penalty, so keep that in mind.

A picture of the 1978 electronic toy "speak and spell"

Running hypervisors on these bad boys, cpanel licence extra.

Are websites getting “fat”? Page weight, HTML size & Googlebot limits explained YouTube video by Google Search Central

Another great episode and great to hear the work of @not-a-robot.com & @barkseo.bsky.social on @httparchive.org's Web Almanac referenced! After listening, go snack on the nutritious & delicious Page weight chapter: almanac.httparchive.org/en/2025/page...

Screenshot showing the new View in GSC button

I've also added a link to open the URL in Search Console's performance report:

Screenshot showing a negative value entered

Example:

Lost Google Traffic Index Check - Tame the Bots Find URLs that have lost impressions in Google Search Console and check the indexing status

Although I primarily designed this tool to diagnose losses in impressions, did you know you can be less depressing and enter a negative threshold to see URLs that have improved in impressions?

Hopefully just a glitch, but looks like blast from the past tripod sites are down now. www.google.com/search?q=sit...

Table of Core Web Vitals geographic breakdown ordered by number of origins showing how Core Web Vitals differ by country for a particular technology. For many technologies countries like Japan Germany, and the UK have much better Core Web Vitals than other countries like India and Brazil.

We just added a Core Web Vitals geographic breakdown to the Core Web Vitals tech report when looking at a single technology

httparchive.org/reports/tech...

Many thanks to @alonko.bsky.social for contributing this!

A screenshot from Nikki's very excellent article saying "Why Dave keeps happening"

A perennial question amongst my peers, friends and family 😂

Google User-Triggered Fetchers | Google Crawling Infrastructure  |  Crawling infrastructure  |  Google for Developers Google user-triggered fetchers perform actions on behalf of users. This overview will help you understand the user-triggered fetchers Google uses.

Google now publishing the User-agents & IP ranges for Google-Agent, used for things like Project Mariner: developers.google.com/crawling/doc...

(also interesting to see they are investigating web-bot-auth!)

I've added this to my Real Googlebot IP? tool found here: tamethebots.com/tools/real-g...

Releasing .htaccess Punk—a Quick Helper to Check Redirects in .htaccess Files Have you checked your .htaccess on broken redirects today?

Releasing .htaccess Punk—a Quick Helper to Check Redirects in .htaccess Files:

Have you checked your .htaccess on broken redirects today?

Speed test results are now shared between speed.cloudflare.com and radar.cloudflare.com/speedtest.

Detailed results are shown on Speed, while summary and country/network comparisons are shown on Radar, and users can now easily switch between the two views.

Love the light above the pike, excellent photo Martin!

A promo image for the next free Optimisey SEO Event, announcing Dawn Anderson as a speaker

After accidentally announcing this a couple of days earlier than planned... suppose I'd better share this here too!

The brilliant @dawnieando.bsky.social is speaking at the 'Comeback' Optmisey #SEO event on 23rd April.

Grab a FREE ticket before they're all gone: optimisey.com/optimisey-me...

Ewww.

It's a bit like I am with The Da Vinci code.

I can read it, don't mean I have to LIKE it

I like this proposal for a standardised machine readable format for publishing bot IP ranges.

I had not, thanks!

Real LLM Bot IP? - Tame the Bots Test an IP address to see if it belongs to a real LLM bot — GPTBot, OAISearchBot, ChatGPT-User, PerplexityBot, Perplexity-User, or ClaudeBot.

Now more LLM crawlers publish their IP ranges, I've added a new tool that lets you spot check an IP address and see if it's a legit openAI/ ChatGPT, Perplexity or Claude one: tamethebots.com/tools/real-l... to go along with the Googlebot IP range one.

Screenshot of Google discover listing with the title including 'Rectal garlic insertion for immune support'

Definitely missed a clickbait title opportunity of "Vampires Hate this One Simple Trick" headline here

Had a great time when I managed to get to one of these, @optimisey.com is awesome, and if you can get to Cambridge, I'm convinced you'd have a great time.

Starting with Chrome 145, DevTools now lets you throttle specific requests instead of the whole page. It’s the ideal way to test how your app handles a single slow asset or API call → goo.gle/4aP1Tcc

I tried explaining to my cat it might be a bit early to sport the spring/summer collection, but was met with derision.