My lad has been microwaving cauliflower for some reason. 🤮

Not cold as such, but the weekend is forecast at least five degrees colder than yours. Coastal too, so we lose a couple of degrees for that.

*cries in up north*

Monkey did a piss up that.

Ah shit, that's awful. So sorry to hear this.

I've never been one for designer gear myself, although I do own a linen Prada suit. Judging by the price I paid for it however, it's likely either snide or off the back of a lorry.

I heard a story of a man who stopped a dog from attacking a child by squeezing its bollocks. Whilst I can't vouch for the accuracy of the tale, I reckon they probably do.

I'm as annoyed as much as anything because it was a gift from somebody who means the wanker bit with love* when then call me it.

*mostly

He's a good lad but he blanks me if he sees me in the street. He's got a reputation to uphold, and several other households to mooch off.

😂 I think it's something like "give me some food dickhead, I'm starving".

He's been visiting for about four years now, on and off. I gave him a slack handful of cat biscuits one time and he figured that I'm an easy touch.

Geoff singing for his supper. #notmycat

Bust my best food "Vegan Wanker" mug. Gutted. 😭

That's unfair. I'm sure some of it was spent on designer clothing.

Lock up your kids, Mad Nad's got the horn.

A simple dal costs pennies to make, is delicious and healthy. What's not to love?

I'm in. How much is a ticket?

We were sent it about 3 weeks ago. 🙃

I am on a virtual course. Have all my fellow learners completed the checklist to ensure they can access the remote resources? Bluesky, they have not. 😐

So it is, but being as we don't get a bank holiday, most people don't mark it much beyond moaning about the lack of bank holiday.

Is there a major sporting event coming up or has the sunny weather brought about a resurgence of flag shaggery near my office?

Orm, a puppet of a worm, from the British children's television programme Orm and Cheep.

Please stop fighing Orm.

Walking home from a friend's house, a car stalled at a junction. The car behind stopped, four blokes jumped out and smashed all the windows with baseball bats then ran off. Me and my wife walked away, trying to give the aura of people who had seen *nothing*.

Happy anniversary to the both of you!

Bit disappointed. I was expecting it to be battered and deep fried at the end.

Love a negroni!

Savoury isn't generally a flavour profile I look for in an alcoholic drink. I enjoyed it for what it was, but one was plenty.

I had a cocktail in Barcelona with a mushroom in it. I enjoyed it, but I didn't order a second.

Heineken apparently. 🙄

I used to like the Beamish stout but I've not seen it in ages.