Your nigh monthly reminder that Alex Karp of Palantir has a sad thing for Lufthansa flight attendants and used to ask his body guards to arm wrestle him.
He is a pathetic, monstrous man who should have been shoved into lockers harder as a child.
Two chocolate dogs in Easter packaging
The same two chocolate dogs, now in a pan full of batter
The same two dogs in a pan full of batter, now in an oven
Two melted piles of chocolate in the batter in the pan in the oven
I had had a thought for a while.
I followed through on it
It wasn't as interesting as I had hoped it would be.
Sic transit gloria mundi
my autistic friends ending the zoom call
Feeling weirdly seen in Jet Li's the one in the representation of a woman randomly using phrases from her spouse's native language and not being sure it is pronounced correctly
Regret to inform you all that Luxembourg is real.
The Belgium of America 🥹
Me to 3yo: What do you want for your birthday party theme?
3yo: “Poopoo & peepee theme! We can get apple juice for the pee, so a skeleton pees and you drink the skeleton pee but it’s okay because it’s juice”
Me: ..K I was thinking like “dinosaurs” but let’s put a pin in “piss fountain of the dead”
Where are my Maiasaura girlies at?
They claim “everyone’s autistic now” and yet Pachycephalosaurus is lumped in with “other”
A picture of a library shelf with a small rolled up note on it. The note says “read this” in child’s handwriting.
A picture of the note unrolled. In the same child’s handwriting it reads “beware of the future!!”
Still thinking about this note I found in the children’s section of the public library when I worked there back in 2018. This kid tried to warn us…
Maybe but I can comfortably guess they don't tip well.
They are signaling that they are evil
We could always try a double act, with my signature moves as Balsamic Moved Abroad Again
My step grandfather fought a war there; I worked with a woman whose family immigrated there; I still don't believe it's real.
Cannot believe Luxembourg is real. Cannot believe I have to drive through it. Much like Indiana, it feels like a place you forget exists until it extends your travel time.
Being married is easy, I don't know why people complain about it. All you have to do is ask what your partner needs, actually listen to the answer, then figure out how you're going to train a variety of woodland creatures to put ancient curses on their enemies. It's literally so simple.
no one is doing it like jd vance, a loser across three continents in a single weekend
Mostly yes, but there is also the Anglican Church in North America and they're definitely not Episcopalian!
Can confirm, my grandma used to hang out with an Episcopal priest in Florida who was a Cuban lesbian
Ah shit I have agreed to lead the Danish scouts in song next week. In my sixth language. In public. With a pack of toddlers who don't know the words. Let's fucking goooooooooo
I hate the term “self-deport” so much. What it actually is is “fleeing the country to avoid government persecution.”
Just like terms like “enhanced interrogation” aka “torture” it obscures what is happening and I hate how willing media outlets are to use those sanitized terms.
I bet it's gonna be something silly like an adolescent hound dog. Like that time all of Jutland freaked out over the Jysk Puma and it turned out to be someone's pet Maine Coon.
On this, national siblings day (US and Canada) I would like to simply state: please, call me Dr. SmolAnalyst; Dr. SmolAnalyst is my sister.
She's the cool one, who perfectly embodies music and math being the same language.
You can find some of her EPs here
these motherfuckers said it would splashdown at 8:07 and it splashed down at 8:07. after going to the fucking moon. fucking a man. god damn
Denise Rocco, our science teacher, playing old Star Trek episodes during lunch for the kids who didn't want to go outdoors for recess. What an absolute hero.
Weird to me that this is the thing everyone cites, because there's so much that's so much worse. In 1974 the first laws against marital rape were passed, but all 50 states did not classify it as a crime/remove the exemption until 1993.
Bunnies in a raft pull up next to a spaceship capsule, which has just splashed down and is floating in the open sea. Visible in the capsule, two bunnies wave at the ones in the boat.
Daily bunny no.3285 made it home safely
The Thirty Years' War was triggered by a religious dispute between Aldi Nord and Aldi Süd over who gets control of Prague
Eric, vazhdo më shndrit, shndrit, shndrit, shndrit
my new favorite way to respond to any question about my life is mentioning that my kid got bit by a horse. it's true, and it makes people stop asking questions that i don't feel like answering.