Feel free to tell me about important captains I missed, ask me to justify my somewhat arbitrary decisions, or just curse me and all my descendants for seven generations. I welcome it all, and probably deserve most of it.

Jean-Luc Picard, a Human man of European descent, gives a very tentative little wave. Alt: Jean-Luc Picard, a Human man of European descent, gives a very tentative little wave.

#1: Jean-Luc Picard (TNG)

I was kind of shocked when I realized Picard was on top of my list, but the truth is I couldn't justify putting him second to anyone. He's perhaps the most balanced and well-rounded of the captains, with only one real weakness: his fear of intimacy.

Kathryn Janeway, a Human woman of Euro-American descent, saying “There's coffee in that nebula.” Alt: Kathryn Janeway, a Human woman of Euro-American descent, saying “There's coffee in that nebula.”

#2: Kathryn Janeway (VOY)

In a situation unlike any faced by any other captain, as the only representative of Federation values in an entire quadrant, Janeway lived up to the challenge. She made some difficult moral calls along the way, not all ideal, but I respect why she made them.

James Kirk, a Human man of Euro-American descent, buried up to the chest in a massive pile of Tribbles. A few more Tribbles fall from above him. He picks one up and half-heartedly tosses it aside. Alt: James Kirk, a Human man of Euro-American descent, buried up to the chest in a massive pile of Tribbles. A few more Tribbles fall from above him. He picks one up and half-heartedly tosses it aside.

#3: James Kirk (TOS)

Often misremembered in pop culture, the real Kirk was the thoughtful balancing force between McCoy's rashness and Spock's coldness. However, he did struggle to wear a shirt for an entire episode. I'll get flak for putting him at #3, but I welcome the haters with open arms.

Ben Sisko, a Human man of African-American descent, in a half-unzipped uniform, saying “I can live with it.” Alt: Ben Sisko, a Human man of African-American descent, in a half-unzipped uniform, saying “I can live with it.”

#4: Ben Sisko (DS9)

Trek's best father and perhaps the most pragmatic of the main captains, though he certainly isn't without his principles. Probably none of the other captains could have won the Dominion War, especially not while balancing his unasked for job as Emissary of the Prophets.

Christopher Pike, a Human man of Euro-American descent, saying “I like this plan. This is a good plan.” Alt: Christopher Pike, a Human man of Euro-American descent, saying “I like this plan. This is a good plan.”

#5: Christopher Pike (TOS/DIS/SNW)

I'm mainly talking about Anson Mount's version of the character, affable and charming almost to a fault, rather than the burned-out one from the TOS unaired pilot. He builds warm personal relationships with ease, but doesn't let many people close.

Dal R'El, a purple skinned humanoid boy, looks crestfallen as he says “I thought I was captain…” Alt: Dal R'El, a purple skinned humanoid boy, looks crestfallen as he says “I thought I was captain…”

HONORABLE MENTION:
Dal R'El (PRO)

Never a Starfleet captain on screen, and not great at captaining in general (as he himself would finally come to realize) but he does ok for an escaped teenage slave. He has a lot to learn, and comes to learn most of it by the end, which is really all you can ask.

Nahla Ake, a fair skinned half-Lanthanite/half-Human woman, adjusts her captain's chair up and down on the bridge of the USS Athena. Alt: Nahla Ake, a fair skinned half-Lanthanite/half-Human woman, adjusts her captain's chair up and down on the bridge of the USS Athena.

#6: Nahla Ake (SFA)

Our newest captain, and the only one with a dual role, namely Chancellor of the Academy. The only captain willing to curl up in the chair and get comfy, yet she's unyielding and professional when it counts. She knows she has her crew's respect and isn't trying to impress them.

James Kirk, left, a Human man of Euro-American descent, places a hand on the arm of Spock, right, a fair skinned half-Vulcan/half-Human, who says, “Please, Captain, not in front of the Klingons.” Alt: James Kirk, left, a Human man of Euro-American descent, places a hand on the arm of Spock, right, a fair skinned half-Vulcan/half-Human, who says, “Please, Captain, not in front of the Klingons.”

#7: Spock (TOS movies)

We don't see much of Captain Spock – he very quickly yields command to Admiral Kirk – but we've seen enough of him in a leadership position to get some sense of him. He's unbending in his personal devotion to logic but has learned a lot about human needs along the way.

Michael Burnham, a Human woman of African-American descent, smiling broadly and saying “Duty calls.” Alt: Michael Burnham, a Human woman of African-American descent, smiling broadly and saying “Duty calls.”

#8: Michael Burnham (DIS)

Discovery's last of many captains, and the one that gets the most attention. She's got some major flaws and baggage, but she knows that and has grown from it. She's also the most successful captain at balancing work and romance, though even she fails a few times.

Will Riker, a Human man of Euro-American descent, says “I love my job!” as his face melts and distorts while passing through a spatial anomaly. Alt: Will Riker, a Human man of Euro-American descent, says “I love my job!” as his face melts and distorts while passing through a spatial anomaly.

#9: Will Riker (LDS/PIC)

Somewhat eccentric and excitable, especially in his LDS incarnation, though hopefully the worst of his playboy tendencies are curbed by marriage at that point. In any case, “Give me warp in the factor of five, six, seven, eight” is a terrible and confusing warp catchphrase.

Phillippa Georgiou, a Human woman of Southeast Asian origin, saying “Have you heard the one about the unstoppable force that met an immoveable object?” Alt: Phillippa Georgiou, a Human woman of Southeast Asian origin, saying “Have you heard the one about the unstoppable force that met an immoveable object?”

#10: Philippa Georgiou (DIS)

Another captain we don't see enough of, but in her brief appearance we get an awful lot. Even just her introductory scene, where she answers what she'd do if stranded on an alien planet for decades with just “I'd escape,” is gold.

Hikaru Sulu, a Human man of Japanese-American descent, saying “There is a sense of loyalty to the men and women you serve with. A sense of family.” Alt: Hikaru Sulu, a Human man of Japanese-American descent, saying “There is a sense of loyalty to the men and women you serve with. A sense of family.”

#11: Hikari Sulu (TOS movies/VOY)

We don't see much of Captain Sulu, which leaves a lot of unanswered questions about his command style, but what we do see is someone as cool, confident, and loyal to a fault as we would expect from his TOS-era appearances.

Saru, a Kelpian man, gesturing with one finger as he says, “Carry on.” Alt: Saru, a Kelpian man, gesturing with one finger as he says, “Carry on.”

#12: Saru (DIS)

Saru settles into being an excellent captain – level-headed, principled, and a great mentor – and if I were going by where he ends up he'd be higher on the list. But it does take him a while to get there, and not just because he needs to go through Space Gazelle Puberty.

Carol Freeman, a Human woman of African-American descent, rounds on Ensign Bradward Boimler, a Human man of Euro-American descent, in a turbolift, demanding,“What is buffer time?” Alt: Carol Freeman, a Human woman of African-American descent, rounds on Ensign Bradward Boimler, a Human man of Euro-American descent, in a turbolift, demanding,“What is buffer time?”

#13: Carol Freeman (LDS)

Freeman means well and is, when push comes to shove, a very capable commander in a crisis. But she's got a huge chip on her shoulder about being relegated to a Cali-class ship and focuses too much time on making herself look good for the brass. Plus she's got that temper.

Jonathon Archer, a Human man of Euro-American descent, saying “I've never liked bullies, Trip! Not on earth and not out here!” Alt: Jonathon Archer, a Human man of Euro-American descent, saying “I've never liked bullies, Trip! Not on earth and not out here!”

#14: Jonathon Archer (ENT)

The lowest ranked main series captain, perhaps unfairly, but largely because of his (admittedly understandable) snap in season 3, when he abandons his principles and even engages in torture to get the job done. The first Trek captain to debut post-9/11, and it shows.

Edward Jellico, a fair skinned Human man, saying “No.” Alt: Edward Jellico, a fair skinned Human man, saying “No.”

#15: Edward Jellico (TNG)

Jellico is tasked with a hard job – making the Enterprise ready for possible war with Cardassia – but only makes it harder with his total lack of flexibility. Instead of respecting the existing culture of the ship, he tries to impose his own by fiat. It doesn't work.

Rayner, a fair-skinned Kellerun man, saying “I can be… stubborn.” Alt: Rayner, a fair-skinned Kellerun man, saying “I can be… stubborn.”

#16: Rayner (DIS)

A real asshole who developed his asshole ethos during the dark days of the Burn and struggled to adapt to the renaissance of the Federation. It takes not being a captain anymore for him to grow and change, but, in his defense, he does at least do so eventually.

A young James Kirk, a Human man of Euro-American descent, in a red cadet uniform saying, “I don't believe in no-win scenarios.” Alt: A young James Kirk, a Human man of Euro-American descent, in a red cadet uniform saying, “I don't believe in no-win scenarios.”

#17: Kelvin Timeline James Kirk (Abrams movies)

Unlike the older prime timeline Kirk, who's way more mellow and contemplative than he's remembered, the Kelvin Kirk is basically just an arrogant little shit. It's absurd that he's ever allowed the captain's chair, much less repeatedly.

Matt Decker, a fair skinned Human man, puts his hand to his forehead as he looks forward with a traumatized expression. Alt: Matt Decker, a fair skinned Human man, puts his hand to his forehead as he looks forward with a traumatized expression.

#18: Matt Decker (TOS)

Decker tried to save his crew and accidentally doomed them, which you can't really hold against him, but his inability to get past his failure even when more lives are on the line puts him way down here on the list. It takes what might count as a mutiny to stop him.

Captain Liam Shaw, a fair skinned Human man, saying “Whatever.” Alt: Captain Liam Shaw, a fair skinned Human man, saying “Whatever.”

#19: Liam Shaw (PIC)

Shaw is a bigot, for one; he refuses to use Seven's chosen name because he's prejudiced against ex-Borg. He does quietly recognize her capabilities, even recommending her for command, but publicly belittles her. He's so unlikeable that even when he's right, you still hate him.

Tim Watters, a fair skinned Human man, stares into the middle distance on the bridge of the USS Valiant.

#20: Tim Watters (DS9)

A cadet unexpectedly put in command of a Defiant-class ship behind enemy lines – which is a lot to put on any twenty year old, so not really surprising he gets high on his own supply (and also uppers) and ends up getting almost his entire crew killed out of sheer hubris.

Rudolph Ransom, a fair skinned Human man, harshly side-lit on the darkened bridge of the USS Equinox.

#21: Rudolph Ransom (VOY)

The captain of the Equinox, who is, like Janeway, trapped in the Delta Quadrant but, unlike Janeway, becomes a mass murderer to get his crew home. He's slightly less evil than his XO and thus gets a very small redemption arc, but he still for sure belongs way down here.

Gabriel Lorca, a fair skinned Human man, saying “Sometimes the end justifies the terrible means.” Alt: Gabriel Lorca, a fair skinned Human man, saying “Sometimes the end justifies the terrible means.”

#22: Gabriel Lorca (DIS)

Lorca is a pretty easy pick for worst Trek captain. His command style is arbitrary and dictatorial, he regularly violates Federation laws and ethics and excuses it with “ends justify the means” logic, and he stans Elon Musk. Also, spoiler, he's evil.

And now, let's have something that will surely be not at all controversial: a ranked list of Starfleet captains. I'm including everyone I can think of who served as captain on screen long enough for us to get a feel for their command style. Apologies to any I missed.

a man with a mustache says did you guys ever watch the show . Alt: Guy, a mustachioed Human man of Euro-American descent, asks, “Did you guys ever watch the show?!”

And how could I get forget…

GALAXY QUEST

My favorite Trek movie to date, and the blueprint that should have convinced me “Lower Decks” would work. An affectionate parody, heavy on the affection, that leaves me feeling seen in a way that'd be uncomfortable if the movie weren't right there with me.

The Doctor, a hologram in the image of a fair-skinned Human man, hands a ceremonial megaphone to Jett Reno, a Human woman of Euro-American heritage, who uses it to say “NO!” back to him. Alt: The Doctor, a hologram in the image of a fair-skinned Human man, hands a ceremonial megaphone to Jett Reno, a Human woman of Euro-American heritage, who uses it to say “NO!” back to him.

STARFLEET ACADEMY
Best: “Series Acclimation Mil”
Worst: if I had to pick, “Ko'Zeine”, but barely

Although it's only had one ten-episode season so far, Starfleet Academy has really impressed me! It's got a lot of heart, and I like that they're telling a new story in a new era. Strongly recommended.

Will Riker, a Human man of Euro-American heritage, says, “I'm supposed to sit around in the woods making pizza while you have all the fun?” Alt: Will Riker, a Human man of Euro-American heritage, says, “I'm supposed to sit around in the woods making pizza while you have all the fun?”

PICARD
Best: early season 2, I guess?
Worst: the entire end of season 3

The most disappointing one on the list by far. Grim, sad, and unpleasant, laden with unearned references to better Trek series, and generally a mess all around. Season 2 is the best of the three, but even it's only just okay.

James Kirk, a Human man of Euro-American heritage, eats an apple while mimicking shooting a finger gun. Alt: James Kirk, a Human man of Euro-American heritage, eats an apple while mimicking shooting a finger gun.

KELVIN MOVIES
Best: “Star Trek (2009)”
Worst: “Into Darkness”

A thoroughly mediocre trilogy that aims to bring an edgy youthful energy to the franchise but mostly just comes off as trying too hard. At its worst it's cribbing off the TOS movies' homework and somehow still getting the wrong answer.

A hologram of Kathryn Janeway, a Human woman of Euro-American heritage, says “Go boldly!” Alt: A hologram of Kathryn Janeway, a Human woman of Euro-American heritage, says “Go boldly!”

PRODIGY
Best: “Supernova”, maybe?
Worst: really no bad ones

Probably the most underrated Trek series. Despite being the first to be aimed explicitly at a younger audience, it never feels like it; the drama is intense and the plot is surprisingly involved. Criminal that it was cancelled like it was.