Don’t let them decide where these Tims can tread, Tess.

You two set the bar

Staying up until 3am talking about how cheetahs are their own evolutionary branch and the best Midwest emo is a lost art.

Oh I’m not joking around. I fully agree.

I think a lot of people have been taught to hide their passions and there is something staggeringly beautiful about a breathless explanation.

Look. I get that you’re perfect. I tell you at least once a month.

Also: I expect a full breakdown of every answer you get.

Skulls on the apps: “what is your hyperfocus and will you tell me about it so that I can learn it all?”

Having never been, I assume Ohio is just what people on TV think Chicago is.

Ohio Prompts:

“Where did you go to high school?”

“Does your dad like Poison or Winger more?”

“Who did you *really* vote for in the last three elections?”

“Do you know the Robertsons? The ones down the street. The younger one just made journeyman”

You made it to the store!

Seriously. What is it like being favorited by the gods?

I’ll be enthusiastic about it for you.

🥳

Which I guess is fair.

As a former dinosaur kid. Sorry for being interesting, I guess.

Grounds for immediate divorce

Heard, chef.

Spotify: “you might like this new song by Seether!”

Me: “I can assure you, I won’t”

You should see Exit 8 if you get the chance.

Wait for a sneeze and see their reaction.

You never take me anywhere.

You could say this ad is… pretty shitty.

Photos of Cerina Wanzer, Barbara Deer, Davonta Curtis, Tomeka Kamwani, Tynice Friday, Trenelle Major Collins, Ashly Robinson, and Nancy Metayer and all of their favorite things to do

#BlackFemicide

Also: is she doing anything later? Or…?

Is this one of those messages where we’re suppose to realize you’ve been replaced by a clone?

…but what if I think of something really silly?

That’s fair and valid.

Is it bragging to say that I’m taking myself out to see a movie or…?

I can get you a little cupcake

… This is a lot of stuff I am too impulsive not to reply to this morning.

Okay but I’m way more unhinged on LinkedIn

See? She’s a nuisance. A true terror.