beautiful

i literally cant have this carrot dangled an inch from my face forever i need this to be done dear god.

...this week, which seems possible, i am pretty confident it will be done saturday and if not certainly within a week of saturday. i cant let myself emotionally believe this is true yet but so help me god do i need this to be done. like, im ready to lose it i just need to move on.

announced my movie about to be done last month and felt like a jackass for jumping the gun. at a certain point me trusting the producer giving me deadlines is my fault for falling for it more than his for being eager. however, i do have the final session booked for saturday and if vfx gets square...

surprised writers dont quote their own movies more im forever going to be so annoying with it

🔥🔥

fuego

id love to see adult swim play this late at night with no explanation. truly an outsider masterpiece and something im blown away to see my name in the opening credits of, even though i dont deserve it. KOG is the best outsider trans film maker creating the 2 edibles deep real stuff. must see.

it might actually be a good documentary: "chaser" where we interview the most horrible chasers, unfiltered, and egg them on to say the weirdest shit while reading aloud highlights on the weirdest inbox messages sw'ers receive.

can a reviewer walk the like of nuance 'this is a good doc on an important topic but its crazy triggering to me as a trans sex worker at several points in the film and thats probably a me a problem?' i hope if the doc producer reads my review they arent offended but also they interview chasers?

saw a doc that spotlighted pervy chasers like they were interesting and for some parts of the audience i guess they might be but its bizarre watching a doc on your natural predators, unchecked, emboldened, in the wild. saying their creepy grindr messages out loud to a camera. docs can be so strange.

totally cool they made this doc and great for an audience thats never met or lived as a trans women and thinks chasers are interesting and worth spotlighting not, like, their natural predators perpetually hunting them.

at one point they interview random dudes on the street if they would fuck a trans woman and they say creepy chaser shit and how do i watch a doc where its the annoying perverts i block on grindr all day saying dehumanizing shit uncorrected and just nod along?

kokomo city is a fun little doc with amazing interview subjects but there is 25 minutes of people chasers talking about how surprised you must be that some black guys are horny for trans women and, like, i am a white trans woman with huge tits that hangs out in compton. like, no fucking shit dawg.

i have a rule where i give every movie on letterboxs 5 stars because i want to work in hollywood. woke up from an edible where i gave an indie trans doc a kind of savage 5 stars with some harmless jabs in there and maybe i should delete it but like how soft do i have to go with every review in fear?

i kind of want to make a documentary called 'sissy' where i go through how problematic and gross it is in a funny way and hopefully create a larger stigma.

im still very much getting used to how im actually seen and the data the universe is giving me is very confusing like its subtle but really odd sometimes

last night, at a party, i mentioned that i met someone 10 years ago on okcupid and this 23 year old looked at me and was like, you were using okcupid in jr high? and she was dead ass serious. this ffs is fucking insane what it did i cant believe that happened kind of a headfuck

no one in that movie about all the famous comedians doing the same long joke and make it as shockingly dirty as possible would last even an hour as a milfy trans woman on sextpanther.

#netrunnerThoughts

hahahaha

R.L. STINE GOOSEBUMPS OH GOD SO MUCH CUM

a memorable moment in paris is burning for me is when one of the older guys talks about how he cleaned house and kicked half the kids out of his house that week and the thing i remember is his tone of voice. his tone said so much. due had been around the block with these young shits.

im not straight edge and im the last one to judge, but someone in my house that ive fought beside for years sent me a text that they think their fire detectors have transphobic microphones in them and i need to start picking the people i'll need backing me up with a little more battle-hardened eyes.

i always made fun of AA and i still find it corny, but someone i know in the program listens to me complain sometimes and always asks me if the person im bothered by used drugs and its very annoying how consistent their lens of things always is.

a major rule in the drag houses of yesteryear is that found family had to strictly be sober and as the years go on the wisdom of those before us never stops revealing its value. its hard enough surviving this clean, none of these users will ever make it out. you cant lean on a meth user.

maybe my thing with building a House was stupid and i was taking the wrong lessons from paris is burning but when it feels like it cant get any worse i think about the circumstances of this photo and know in my heart i have something so powerful.

100% drug abuse

hugely support this

BREAKING: URGENT ADDRESS TO THE NATION FROM PRESIDENT DONALD J TRUMP