deemed a madman but you don’t even own a machete!

“you know what two cylinders sound like, well this is only one.” what the hell do i do with this, i can’t believe i ever put on a face that made you think i know what two engine parts sound like.

ooo i bet he’s so mad to have to put the “T” in there

ROBERT15

book report ass ai

no follow-up questions

welcome to the sensory nightmare that is having a slippery guy, slathered in ointment, grabbing your forearm for purchase

thanks pops, very seasonal random text

experiencing a modern micro grief because i unfollowed one of the instagram accounts of a japanese dog whose owner went insane when they died and began posting scary ai morphs of the departed pup. that made me realize i follow a dozen dead japanese dogs so i unfollowed all of the dog ghosts at once.

buy the book, patrick

the related books look good, too

circle of diatomaceous clay around the house’s perimeter. i am clean.

i think i signed a truce because i helped a massive june bug by flipping it upright with a stick while walking the dog

those spiders who claimed a corner out of reach have earned their place and i shall not deny them their post

the week of constant, invading bugs passed without notice and it doesn’t even matter because i’m still going to be on high alert for the foreseeable future

what why

you ever see a bitch pick up a pineapple at trader joe’s and know she’s not gonna let it rot on her counter

i’m a “go outside and look at the moon” wife

at first i agreed, but a minivan jerk would be humbling