we are plum mogging the rest of the world fr 😭

did an EV owning toddler write this

how many bullets are in the chamber of the GD gun

for fucj sake

this is what it’s like having GDM

and after that he’ll enjoy a resurgence in popularity

my 12 week old baby 8 times a day:

no!!! no!!!

just reminded of the fact that when i was a kid i hated animalia by graeme base because i assumed there was some far deeper meaning than a few hidden images so i got really frustrated trying to figure it out

what would a neighbourhood be without u

expecting tyra banks to grovel and apologise for top model is so funny

emily: when you stopped in goulburn did you see a big sheep?

theo: … … no

the queensland writer’s festival greets attendees

two mummies are the best ☺️

the secret is keeping it in your pockets

phonics parent: let’s go to big wuh

i had 4 different types of cheese but that’s cool too

malatang and dessert is king shit

a green frog is sitting on top of a concrete wall . ALT: a green frog is sitting on top of a concrete wall .

nothing like the feeling of razor sharp baby toenails scraping across your boob

if they were really committed they would’ve learned

as i am already quite familiar with Gay, i was a little disappointed that the gay hockey show didn’t teach me a bit more about hockey

my “i am not breastfeeding the grinch” t-shirt people asking a lot of questions already answered by the shirt

mouse ass dinner 🫵😂

congrats

good things….

do you write about me

me with my 3 week old baby: i want another baby

postpartum camera roll:
- baby
- baby
- baby
- baby
- blood clot of size that needs to be documented just in case
- baby
- baby
- baby
- enormous clexane bruise
- enormous clexane needle
- baby
- baby

been a mother for less than 2 days and i already feel like it’s insanely inadequate that humans only have two arms

the lesbian version of twink death is dink death bc lesbians be having babies