operator: 911, please state your emergency
me: uh yeah i want to place a bet on who the next james bond is gonna be
operator: yep. ready
me: $500 on john smoltz
operator: ah, good ol’ smoltzie
me: no i said “smoltz”
operator: oh i know. that’s just his nickname
me: i need to speak to your supervisor

I used to get so into March Madness. Now the only March Madness I get is when I see a young person disrespectfully wearing a stocking cap inside a Cracker Barrel.

My pick for the sexiest movie of all time and I feel like that's a pretty big accolade from someone who has established that "sexy" is a pretty huge category on his review ballot.

TV Guide
Son of Sniglet
Katharine Hepburn’s ME

Thank you for caring, Facebook

I need to apologize to the fake news left wing woke liberal media. For the last week, I've been accusing them of stealing my lawn chair. It turns out my wife threw it away. Apologies fake news left wing woke liberal media.

I never saw CONFESSIONS OF A SHOPAHOLIC. What did she confess to? Murder?

At the Deathbed, by Edvard Munch, 1895

My New Year’s resolution was to read 365 words this year. I finished it at 12:10 pm on January 2nd. It was a menu.

If you get the director of ROCK N ROLL HIGH SCHOOL on the horn and you’re not asking questions about P.J. Soles and Joe Dante, I don’t even know what.

hey y'all - can you load me up with the best readings you've read about video games from the last ten years or so? Pls plug your own work, and would love to hear about some books.

Preparing my proposal for Steven Speilberg for WAR WALRUS: my theatrical puppet show about the brave walruses who played a pivotal role in World War I.

here's an excerpt:
"zwe have defeated ze Americans. ze Kaiser vill be delighted!"
"oh no! look out for zat valrus!"

My inspirational book "Sweat the Small Stuff (There Is No Small Stuff)" was not a popular stocking stuffer despite a concentrated marketing push to neurotics, jerks, worrywarts, hypochondriacs, and thickheads.

the sense i've developed during my Rosalind Russell obsession is that she always found herself playing characters who found conventional glamour kind of stupid, so she's rarely framed that way in her movies. This shot from FLIGHT FOR FREEDOM is an exception. god, what a human being.

I teach our foundations of cinema class and for editing week, the two choices for students to watch are Memento and Out of Sight

hey all - there are breakup albums, but are there break-up novels? novels written in the (often-toxic, occasionally productive) wake of a relationship ending? I'm thinking of authors more than plots. Maybe it's a "divorce" novel. Anyone?

Anyway, it is an R-rated movie because it takes place in a prison and the language is appropriate. But it's a movie that believes in its unpretentious and earnest take on what's inspirational. Should be a crowd-pleaser. Where were the crowds?

The Oscars are stupid, but if the real-life Divine Eye doesn't get a nom, it will prove two things to me: first that the movie wasn't rolled out correctly, released in early Fall with no build-up; the Academy only wants to celebrate the already overly celebrated.

Domingo and Paul Raci are amazing alongside the real alumni of the program. It's about the power of imagination, but its also the way difficult, troubled people have imaginative visions that can be worked through in collaboration (Divine Eye).

Honestly, the movie is sorta middle-of-the-road in its ambitions, but I'm fine with it being an emotional crowd-pleasure. But it didn't come out in my small town even though we occasionally get independent movies of this calibre. BUT

Because Colman is capable of going very big but also in quiet, intimate, haunting performances in things that are more muted. What bugs me is that SING SING wasn't a breakout movie this year. It got a good NYer review and elsewhere but I don't see people online keeping it alive

I'm watching the new Colman Domingo show on Netflix - he's an actor who I now will be excited to see in anything. You just hope that the show will live up to his tremendous talent and presence. In that sense, he reminds me of a young Jack Nicholson. 1/?

I hate to get political, but I have to say this: if you think Naked Gun 33 and 1/3rd is better than Naked Gun 2 and 1/2, please unfriend me.

Here's the thing: If you can't spot the gravy boat as soon as you sit at the thanksgiving table, YOU are the gravy boat.

Any movie is a christmas movie if it‘s set in a year when christmas occurs.

Am rewatching today to teach after the holiday break

Saving for when I teach Orlando again

Watching Cars 3 with my kid, which I’ve never seen: what are the usual rankings for these? Is the first one still the best? So far I like 3 better than 2

Oh wow, these look great! Thank you! I'm really surprised I've never come across the Nitsche book before.