"What?? I could have sworn a short version of The Prince was included?"

Was it the "Little" Prince?

YES! Oh...wait...

My name is Ozymandias, King of Kings
Look on my Works, ye Mighty, and despair

Back in my day, we didn't have measles, COVID or polio. We had to die from a broken health care system on our own!

Oh snap I just got 100 hours of Internet sent to me on a CD!

And lo Jules did beg:
They don't call it a Quarter Pounder with Cheese?

Vincent replied hence:
No, they got the metric system there, they wouldn't know what the fuck a Quarter Pounder is.

Jules did bade thusly
Then what do they call it?

Vincent castigated on't
They call it Royale with Cheese.

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You know... "flag" is such a legally limiting word anyways...

My middle schoolers *whispering

"Damn... And we would've had a sub til summer if Mr Smith got arrested"

The fact that we normalized people of a certain age "don't need recess" is such a terrible theft of everyone's wellbeing.

An usher friend at BSO was using the backstage bathroom when the principal trombonist using the urinal next to him slowly started backing up until he was peeing a solid six feet away. Without breaking.. stream.. he walks back in, zips up and turns to my friend and says, "That's how you do that."

"At spring, time, everybody will sneeze"

We actually had a protocol for this very thing happening. Basically anyone experiencing a "medical event" was moved or carried if necessary out of the main hall into the wings without interrupting the show.

Definitely don't have to be high class to go to the symphony.

In college I worked as an usher at the BSO. One night I got called on the radio up to second balcoony because someone had drank a bottle of tequila, peed all over the floor and tried to clean it up with programs. 😬

"Alright brosefs, who's ready for an icebreaker??"

Love that I've reached the age where if I simply walk into a bar, I get a hangover 😭

"Jesus low key resurrectionmogs Romans with this one simple trick"!

"The secret to eternal life celebrity influencers don't want you to know!"

For me it's the suburban hellscapes like Grapevine TX

Also Frost Heave sounds like a super villain.

a man in a blue jacket is reading a very large book on a table ALT: a man in a blue jacket is reading a very large book on a table

My therapist: "where would you like to start?"
Me...

But why am I like this?

😂

This is an insanely niche post

Maybe cheaper tickets 👀

But how will we know??

Is this a dagger before me?

You keep stealing lines, this dagger's going to be in you.

What a relief!