Wandered

happy to announce i have officially agreed to step into a new role as CEO of apple inc. starting immediately

apple inc has not agreed

it’s fun when multiple cat pfps like the same posts bc my notifications look like one cat saw it and shared it with their cat friends

i didn’t want a cop to be able to force me to get my registration

and, like some kind of fuckaas fool, i didn’t enable biometric keyless access

til 2FA stands for “2nd Fuckin Amendment”

installing 2FA in my smart car so no one else can drive it, not even me after i forget my login

her name should be sabrina singer

if anyone ever recognizes me from here in the outside world I will hand them a shiv carved from my femur and let them slit my throat

whenever I see the tip defaulted to 30% on one of those nifty machines it feels like friendly fire in the class war

muster worldwide at it again

there is a growing consensus

maybe like 81 or 83 i’d believe, but 100?? gtfoh

i always wear swimming goggles as my normal eyewear so no one will even notice how cool my new glasses are

a quote from of mice and men (pg. 8 in my version) that says: in weed. oh, sure i remember. in weed”

john steinbeck gets us

9/11 was a psyop

wilt chamberlain didn’t score 100 points. not even close

the onion buys infowars, great just what we need. when will the monopolization of our legacy media come to an end??

*Mitch Hedberg voice*

i’m gonna go smoke, too

installing 2FA in my smart car so no one else can drive it, not even me after i forget my login

you should be able to scroll and post from your freshly rolled joint imo

had a guy tell me he wants automated cars for everyone on the road at all times.

“wouldn’t it be cool if traffic stopped existing because every car could start driving fast at the same time to get you to your destination??”

my brother in christ you are describing a train rn

porn star whose adlib is “oh brother”

o’ bro’ther wh’er’e art’ th’ou

he’ll yeah

Video: ‘Homophobic’ 6-Week-Old Baby Cries After Gay Dad Tells Him ‘There Is No Mama’

Maybe we'll keep some InfoWars content up.

he should be the mvp

i’ve seen enough, the kash patel alcoholism scandal is a disgrace,it’s not fair! i won’t stop fighting until we ALL can be drunk off our ass on the job

well my gramma overdosed on weed and died but sure, go ahead and dance on her grave with your bongs and your vapes or whatever

wemby is French (complimentary) whereas rudy gobert is French (derogatory)