Awoken by the sound of foxes making the sweet painful love. Jesus Christ. Give me - her - strength.

Can sweary you please sit on the Naughty Step?

I am! That long ago? Blimey. You were five? 💋💋💋

NN, losers. Xx

HAHAHAHAHA!

Guess who wrote it.

Should potholing be banned?

You'll only drive it underground.

Tell that to Bob in Sales!

You’re so jealous of my talent.

I wrote it.

‘Lanyard’ is a weird word, isn’t it?

Alan

Holding Back the Ears (of Corn)

Was walking behind a bloke on a street.

As we approached a Co-op covered in scaffolding, he rolled up his sleeves.

Got to the metal frame.

I walked around it — and the future ex-Mr Bibi started doing pull-ups on the bars.

He then went in the shop.

I love him with all my rusty heart.

Lynchy me would fit in.

I’m achy again. 😔 Why won’t this lurgy eff orf?!

Because it’s obsessed with me? Because I’m so fabulous?

‘Gonna make Dame Bibi sick because Dame Bibi is sick.’

#sick

Love to you both. X

R2-D2 is wasted. #RubbishPosts

I think what I love most about the new place is all the natural daylight. #RubbishPosts

Much love to you and your dad. X

Too far, Nathan. Too far.

I WAS HACKED!!! #AmIPretty

He’s in love with me. Bibi and Dan, sitting in a tree. #BibiLevy

Clearly!

I did buy them. ☺️ I love them!

Yeah, local chazzer.

IKR?!

Today I’m a happy loser. LOOK AT THAT BEAUTY!

Don’t need these, but… 🖤💛🖤💛🖤
#shadylady #chazzerqueen

Let me be transparent here… #BagAddict #chazzerqueen