Advertisement · 728 × 90

Posts by

Someone made a YouTube video using my Instagram posts narrated by an AI voice and I genuinely don’t know how to feel lol

They also could’ve chosen better pics lol

5 months ago 2 0 2 0
Post image Post image Post image

One of my favorite setups from the photoshoots I did

5 months ago 31 2 1 0

Me traveling around in the city that I’ve lived in for 8 years: „where the fuck am I?“

11 months ago 2 0 0 0

Shoutout to my local cafe that costs more than Starbucks, is labeled on maps as a co working space but has a poster that says “sorry no WiFi. Talk to each other” all while the barista was defending war crimes

11 months ago 2 0 0 0

I am appalled by the fact that everybody thinks I have an OnlyFans only because I post and behave like I have an OnlyFans and you can literally see my cock when you google my username

11 months ago 4 0 0 0

One of my favorite pics of me! Thank you so much again for the photoshoot!

1 year ago 2 0 0 0

I really would appreciate it if the US government would stop discounting my stock portfolio.
That’s my retirement/apocalypse fund after all

1 year ago 0 0 0 0
Post image

Unfortunately, whenever I’m near a beach this is me

1 year ago 4 0 0 0

To this day I regret not making it the cover photo of my Instagram post lol

1 year ago 5 0 0 0
Advertisement
Post image

I have some great nudes but I think this is the hottest I ever looked

1 year ago 36 1 2 0
Post image

Justice for one of my favorite pics of me.
That I had to take down from Instagram
📸: @panchoassoluto.bsky.social

1 year ago 29 1 0 0

I don’t want anybody else using my phone. What if an embarrassing text comes in? Or worse, what if they open the calculator and see that my last calculation was something like 5+8?

1 year ago 3 0 1 0

2 years ago and I look sooo different. I feel like we all lived 12 lifetimes since then

1 year ago 15 0 0 0

The days between Christmas and new years truly feel like the liminal spaces of days

1 year ago 2 0 0 0

Begging the universe to give me one boring day. But here I am trying to talk myself out of starting a production company with my Uber driver.

1 year ago 3 0 0 0
Post image

Twitter about to tumblr to its death

1 year ago 3 0 0 0

Maybe 8 hours of screen time is too little. I almost had a thought there

2 years ago 1 0 0 0

I’m starting to fuck up the grammar of vines that I remember. I might actually turn into an adult after all

2 years ago 1 0 0 0
Advertisement

I loooove shutting up.
No wonder I’m so miserable most of the time. I never actually do

2 years ago 0 0 0 0

Getting “😍” reactions to the stories that don’t actually feature yourself is a hatecrime btw

2 years ago 0 0 0 0

Nobody prepared us… things… they never stop.

(In this case having to accept the new Spotify price until December 31.)

2 years ago 0 0 0 0

Blasting the first few seconds of Speed Drive on loud so the girl next to me on the bus knows I’m not a threat.

2 years ago 0 0 0 0

Not sure if I should continue to hang out with my friends. Liking me seems like a major red flag

2 years ago 0 0 0 0
Tweet of Elon Musk about his and Mark Zuckerbergs fight. It reads: The fight will be managed by my and Zuck’s foundations (not UFC).

Livestream will be on this platform and Meta. Everything in camera frame will be ancient Rome, so nothing modern at all.

I spoke to the PM of Italy and Minister of Culture. They have agreed on an epic location.

Tweet of Elon Musk about his and Mark Zuckerbergs fight. It reads: The fight will be managed by my and Zuck’s foundations (not UFC). Livestream will be on this platform and Meta. Everything in camera frame will be ancient Rome, so nothing modern at all. I spoke to the PM of Italy and Minister of Culture. They have agreed on an epic location.

Joaquín Phoenix character Commodus in Gladiator pointing his thumbs down.

Joaquín Phoenix character Commodus in Gladiator pointing his thumbs down.

Me to both of them

2 years ago 0 0 0 0
Post image

Graphic Designers xkcd.com/2598

2 years ago 2184 392 37 31

“This lighting isn’t doing me any favors”
something I say whenever there is a light source

2 years ago 0 0 0 0

I ate these a couple times each week for breakfast when I was in Shanghai. From a small bakery/shop run by an old man. He sometimes gave me extra ones. Even though I barely spoke Chinese.

I loved them so much. Thank you for reminding me! I might have to try to make them myself

2 years ago 0 0 0 0

Absolutely devastated that soon I’ll be a mid twenties little teenage boy who just graduated 7 years ago and is experiencing the big city for the first time since 6 years and counting. No responsibilities pls I’m just an innocent child with a retirement plan

2 years ago 0 0 0 0
Advertisement

I'm not saying chiropractors should be illegal, I'm just saying they should have to have cigarette style warning labels in big print on their waiting room walls saying "The guy who invented this says he learned it from a ghost."

2 years ago 2605 705 46 41
Post image Post image Post image

Why does everything have to be like this

2 years ago 0 0 0 0