Just drink the entirety of the second chocolate milk on the toilet. That's just efficient. Right on in, right on out.

"oh savior, thou hast made this humble legume a paradise upon the earth."

A dog, unbothered by anything. Stares straight forward at the camera lens. Surely such a state could never be altered by any outside force.

As the finger slowly pushes into the dogs face, the canine is now officially bothered. It's state of blissful reverie forever shattered by a single index finger poke into its squishy jowl. "Why, human two" it silently cries, "why such betrayal"

Don't have to go to work tonight so I'm bothering this dog for a little. Shoe's on the other paw now, Tango. How ya like them apples

My friend made black eyed peas, looked real good and i had a little bit:

I think I just saw the face of the lord and it's a smoked turkey leg.

This is the animal version of someone doing an interpretive dance to the "Fuck you, I don't do what you tell me" rage against the machine lyrics

There can be only one explanation: ghost hands

Successful techniques for this dog to get to go and have fun:
Wag tail, sad whine, many woofs at a normal volume, happy vertical jumps (*not* well timed ninja kicks to people's collar bones)

All above will most likely result in fun times and not human two having to apologize while restraining you.

If there's one lesson this dog will never learn it's "if I want to interact with another dog/human/dog and human on a walk i must not bark and pull like a maniac"

It would be really cool if my new health card came in the mail today. That would be nice.

Yes

My family's old cat, Oskar. I think i can actually hear him purring through this photo.

Oskar yet again, this pic does not accurately show how long and fat he truly was. This cat was loud and sassy. Like Andre the Giant but for cats and probably less racist.

In remembrance of the only fat cat worth a damn

a cartoon of a man standing in front of a house Alt: Gif of Principal Skinner giving superintendent Chalmers a thumbs up from the simpsons

"Seymore! My timeline's on fire!"
"No, Mother. That's just the bluesky comments."

just horrific to watch, the War Crimes Factory must be shut down by any means necessary

Honestly that's just good advice in general. "Got holes? Clean 'em."

And honestly? Even though the one i read wasn't the gay one I feel like i still read the gay one, knowing what I know about the characters and how they progress. 10/10 novella, fun read for an acq inc fan.

So I just read the novella DRANMAGIC by Jerry Holkins, which is very fun and absolutely worth it but the funny thing is knowing how there's a literal other version that's apparently just the same but gay and the gay version is probably the real one.

I’m down for impalement

I'm glad this hasn't spread globally.

I have made the mistake of waking up hours ago and not rolling right back to sleep.

My roommate and his dog shed so much i could have multiple wigs just from what gathers on couches/the floor in a week. Or just one really great wig, at least.

The snake has now fully wrapped around my headphones and is slowly becoming an eye patch as well.

I guess he's living on top of my skull from now on.

Armstrong T. Kingsnake, head resting upon my hand

It's a holiday so I hope everybody's keeping it traditional and has their snake on hand. It just don't feel right without a scale-covered pal wrapped around your neck. Colourful eggs? Trite. A cold blooded reptile? That's the ticket.

The snake's slithering about
I'm drinkin' coffee

two knights are standing in the woods and one of them is saying i 've had worse . Alt: Monty Python gif, the Black Knight stands before the King while missing an arm saying "I've had worse."

Can confirm from the little I've read (so far) of GALAHAD that the humor disarmed me. A bit more than a just flesh wound, I'd say.

🎶you can do regular warlock shit if you want to,
Cast your lot with a simple elder entity or god,
But if you ain't down with the Ur, That-Which-Endures,
Then you're just a waste of my time🎶

*Cut to them just shuffling in place to the beat of the song*

Bored at work, thinkin' about the old acq inc C-Team, which obviously means the most useless thoughts have entered my skull.

"What if K'Thriss Drow'b wrote the song Safety Dance" is at the top.

Somehow i kinda know what this is despite never seeing the full episode.

(My pick is worf getting his spine crushed by a clearly empty barrel)

A new Dillinger Four song you say? Don't mind if i do

64ish lbs of stupid, loud, baby on four legs: it's Tango T. Dawg.

The dog requires my assistance. He must go out. Out into the world. Into the wild, to frolic and to play and also pee and poop and bark at many people trying their hardest not to cringe in fear of this loud, four-legged stupid baby.