People mention front facing Simpsons being horrifying but Smooth Homer haunts me

It’s me, the pile of the cocaine that said “make the 3 hour movie longer”

Moon gonna be gone

Your Italian grandma weeping softly in the background

just an hour of my family mad at me for not getting rao’s

these assholes will just walk away from their only food plant toward certain death, go on a little stroll to meet their maker, they don’t give a fuck

obv I like butterflies (majestic, beautiful, graceful) but I love caterpillars (slow, clumsy, seem to yearn for death)

A t shirt with monarch caterpillars superimposed on the moon like the canonical 3 wolf shirt

fit check

Fun fact: two molecules in your coffee this morning remembered each other from OJ Simpson

patriots, hold onto your piss

Hey everybody! I am taking the helm of this classic American institution with @theonion.com and want to know what you fine folks would like to see from us.

With the help of the Sandy Hook families, The Onion has reached a long-awaited deal to take over InfoWars.

We've enlisted the help of @timheidecker.bsky.social, who will be InfoWars' Creative Director.

Please stand by for more.

The Onion plans to turn Infowars into a comedy site with satirical echoes of the fringe conspiracy theories that Mr. Jones is known for. Tim Heidecker, one of the comedians behind “Tim and Eric Awesome Show, Great Job!” on Cartoon Network’s Adult Swim, has been hired to serve as “creative director of Infowars.” He said he initially plans to parody Mr. Jones’s “whole modus operandi.” Mr. Heidecker has been working on his impression of Mr. Jones. But eventually, when that joke gets old, Mr. Heidecker said that he hoped to turn Infowars into a destination for independent and experimental comedy. “I just thought it would be just a beautiful joke if we could take this pretty toxic, negative, destructive force of Infowars and rebrand it as this beautiful place for our creativity,” Mr. Heidecker said in an interview. During a recent trip to Philadelphia, he traveled to the Liberty Bell to film a video in character as the new creative director of Infowars.

Get excited.

www.nytimes.com/2026/04/20/b...

RIP John Donne you would’ve loved 2011 tumblr

An engraving of John Donne wearing a single embellished crucifix earring

good evening to everyone but especially to John Donne’s soft grunge cross earring

commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Po...

Dr robby walking by and glimpsing shirtless Abbot in an exam room

The Pitt is cool because everyone is good looking but nobody has Instagram face

Virginia governor, advocates remember Dr. Cerina Fairfax Dr. Cerina Fairfax is remembered as a mentor and community leader as officials call attention to the broader impact of domestic gun violence toward Black women.

It has been really disturbing to see some people pay tribute to Dr. Cerina Fairfax’s killer without even mentioning her. The victims of domestic violence matter more than their husband’s political careers.
www.13newsnow.com/article/news...

brother hittin the nosegrind on the steps of st patricks

Holy Ghost Note: the pope leo story

going nuts in the front row of the all ages show

Young pope Leo, undated but he appears to be in his teens or early 20’s

young pope leo looks like a ska scene regular who goes by Upbeat but no one knows his real name

A close up on the painting of the cadaver in question at the cadaver synod

mondays, am I right folks

the more popes that crop up the more likely it is that we get one of these en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cadaver...

Multiple popes is at least funny, let’s do that instead

omg america Catholic-Protestant sectarianism is so played out, get your own thing jfc

it’s so nuts to be on your 4th day of feuding with the pope and not even be a little bit cool, he’s still just a big wet loser

the river is everywhere

these shoes are AI now, the mall is an elephant, your dentist is trucks now, the moon is your bank

He should excommunicate him just for fun. Y’know, to see if the wand or whatever works.