Caffeine isn't enough today I need amphetamine and a menthol cigarette

A plant can tell funnier jokes to be fair

Congrats this is your child now and you will have to take care of it for the rest of your life

I'll be honest with you, people don't like Keir on the door but it's not over this Mandelson thing. They don't like him personally

Great news boss, this Mandelson stuff isn’t cutting through on the doorstep because they already think you’re a cunt

Boy Kibble is just a few steps away from Keema if you think about it. For when you're feeling lush

Axel for Phosphorite!

Meme with a photo of a fountain drink machine with a cup sitting under two nozzles (red and blue), a hand pushing both buttons at once and liquid coming from both nozzles. The blue (left) drink is labelled "grateful for the insight I have gained from all my experiences" and the red (right) drink is labelled "still thinks some of that sh*t should not have happened". The hand is labelled "me".

My secondary school physics teacher was the one who told my parents I shouldn't be in school.

He said he loved every lesson I was in because I would not only be asking him questions he couldn't answer, but correcting him when he was wrong.

That was when I got pulled out to do my GCSEs at home.

Let me finish watching thrones on nowtv first

I hope they lose their exclusive rights to F1.

A man has died and they paraded someone else's name in the same headline. At least now they've removed the self-plug in the subheading.

This sport is dangerous. Deaths are not gossip pieces.

Kinda tired of this now 🫩

Saturday night and I'm already in bed

What a treat

dogdhgy wekendend
dogy wendkend

doggy weekdn

DOGGY WEEKEND
WHO'S GOIN WHO WANTS TO BARK AT ME AND BE WEIRD AND STUFFFFF

A facebook post from Drink (Hebden Bridge) stating the following: "Yesterday we had an incident in the bar. We're pretty disgusted by it and we're gutted that it happened in our bar (as we're woke, lefty, liberal do gooders and we're proud), we'd like to extend our apologies to the family that had to suffer the indignity of their paths crossing with bigots, we really do strive to make the bar a safe space Jago, our team member dealt with the men as soon as he realised what was happening, As the men left (were kicked out by Jago) one of them said "Come on, we're getting kicked out for our views" I'd like it to stand on record that that is exactly why they were kicked out. If your views are racist, dont come If your views are homophobic, dont come If your views are misogynistic or misandrist, dont come If your views are transphobic, dont come. If you have wound up in our bar and you hold those views, keep your damn mouth shut. There's loads to talk about that cant be labled a hate crime, stick to those easy and numerous topics (and ni-one will ever find out that youre terrible). We dont care if you think we're the thought police for telling you that hate crimes will not be tolerated in our establishment. We are a freehouse, you're on our property and we sell a controlled substance. Youre here by consent and not by right, cross any lines that we dont consent to and you can find somewhere else to drink immediately."

The remainder of the Facebook post: "Racist? Drink - somewhere else" followed by a picture stating: No place for (above 5 stars, and below:) Homophobia, Fascism, Sexism, Racism, Hate.

A small Yorkshire town made a post about kicking people out of their pub and I'm obsessed.

I'm taking a trip.

BLUESKY IS A WEBSITE THAT TURNS (post by jay.bsky.team claiming that bluesky is made with AI) INTO (picture of bluesky not working)

The funny part is the project is gonna be really difficult and horrible. Literally gonna suck to do. That's why I wanted it.

This guy's a useless dick and he's either gonna vibe it or he's gonna do nothing until someone else does it for him.

I was talking about a cool project at work I wanted to take on.

The person I was speaking to about it went to tell my team lead so it can be assigned to me. But my team lead then assigned it to his mate instead.

:C ok fuck me for actually being interested in work I'll try not do that again

Try just taking a break and let your metabolism balance itself out a bit.

You're not meant to stay on diets indefinitely. Try upping your intake and upping exercise and see how you maintain. You might wobble a bit but once your body can level itself out you can look at cutting again.

Both of you it is ;p

I'll show up at the pub and start hitting on you so you'll have an excuse to leave (with me)

I tend to sleep much better when I'm not loredeumping about RuneScape in a porn chat at 11:30pm

New vocal stim unlocked

Only 6 years ago this was minted.

I've been working really hard so it's time to ruin all of that with a kebab

Neil banging out the tunes April 13, 2006

Happy 20 years of Neil banging out the tunes 🐀🎶🎉

Do I watch an 11 hour video on exactly how computers work or do I do something actually productive

It's unpoliceable.

Prisons are overflowing to the point people keep getting mistakenly released

And they're gonna try and lock people up for calling someone daddy in a vid?

YES!

We are so small and insignificant in the universe, which is what makes our brief experience here with each other all the more special ❤️

Looking forward to seeing where this goes! Can see how hard you've been working on this over the last few months

The site is really pretty, too. I've always found it a nice touch when you share music with your posts so it's nice to see it integrated into the reader