With the help of the Sandy Hook families, The Onion has reached a long-awaited deal to take over InfoWars.
We've enlisted the help of @timheidecker.bsky.social, who will be InfoWars' Creative Director.
Please stand by for more.
Ideal relationship dynamic
I don't recall any previous transformative technologies that had to be sold to the public so hard. No one in 1999 was going, "Guys. Cell phone? It's coming, whether we like it or not. I think it's important, FOR WOMEN ESPECIALLY, to learn about cell phone. So that we're not left behind!!"
They’re going to put a Chinese dick milking factory under the ballroom I just know it
They've got someone looking into it. High IQ people. The best. And it'll be done very soon. A concept the likes of which we've never seen before. In two weeks.
11 years and counting under Trump. Close to 20 in general.
Any day now, they'll have a plan in two weeks. They're just about done after the next recess.
Just remember, top brass spent millions on lobster and pianos.
When you suddenly realize "the mark of the beast" is just shitty gold branding in Impact font
Channelling the millionaire patriot guy who was like "This will be a line item on some brokerage account somewhere that I won't even notice".
Literally people under 40 are barely affording one house, let alone luxury second homes. If this is scary, we haven't gone far enough. Make them terrified.
Vector W8 (1989)
Batman leans forward as he has snuck behinda man in a green suit, black tie, and glasses leaping mid air off his face has he turns in shock when Batman says, "BOO!"
Every day I see some amazing, astounding, lovely natural miracle of this world like a flower blooming or the way a river has carved the earth around the contours of the land or the lifecycle of a butterfly and then I think of all the people that refuse to see the wonder and choose to be shitty
Having not followed up on it, I'm sure that if the Connecticut Leather Company could pivot to video games, this will probably work out in the long run.
The halcyon days of ripping Tegan and Sara CDs and transferring them to my iPod 5th Gen that was permanently attached to aux port of my Mazda. Windows down, breeze strong, guitars... jangly.
a woman with an oven for a jacket
how the hate keeps me
Saw an ad for M&Ms today and honestly....if you don't know about M&Ms by now you are dumb as fuck
Weird fuckin weekend
Booting up, dialing out, logging on, and so forth.
"Trust lunge!"
A group of four galaxies stand out against a pitch black sky dotted with white stars. The central galaxy, M81, is particularly striking as a fairly bright edge-on spiral.
Baby’s first DSO stacking adventure 🔭
A year ago I said someone should do Frinkiac for King of the Hill. Well @standard.bsky.social went and DID IT boompane.ordoliberal.com
Just watched through the episodes of The Crown where this happens and the whole time wife and I were like "why is this so on the nose for right now?!"
doing artisanal computing on my
Like everything to do with the religious right, they should be free to live that way if they want; nobody is compelling them to vote. They can self-restrict all they want, wtf do I care.
The "don't tell me how to live" crowd once again really loving telling people how to live.
I’ve been thinking about this guy almost daily for ten fucking years. essentially my entire 30’s. when he finally croaks I imagine I’ll let out a sigh so deep it realigns my fucking spine
A lot of people assumed I wouldn't be good at anything, but they were wrong: I can *always* pinpoint exactly where the cat vomited at 5:30AM.
These are my emotional support twizzlers
