Carrie Bradshaw smoking in front of her laptop, thinking she just did something, probably

Who will be the soul brave enough to launch AI Fruit Love on the Spectrum

Checked out my seat assignment for the World Cup, and it turns out I got an aisle seat. Guess who's gonna risk eating cheese at the stadiuuum? 💅🏼

Watching the new season of Love on the Spectrum, and my cheeks hurt from smiling so much! Especially during James' scenes. Dude's the goat! (Shelley is chill af, too.)

I ♥️ monthly chemical burns

International Women's Day came and went and no one got me tickets to Zara Larsson. FAKE

This Dollar Tree lip oil gave me a canker sore. I'm never trying anything new again.

I never understood what people meant when they'd describe someone as having "beautiful eyes." (I mean, eyeballs are just eyeballs.) But I just started watching Fallout, and I get it now. Them's good eyes.

Did ANTM really give y'all self-esteem issues? Hearing the judges call the girls fat and ugly just made me think I could be a model, too.

A brunette in a colorful, vibrant floral top, sitting in a car and holding an “I VOTED TODAY” sticker.

I broke my stylus in half as soon as I got it

An email from someone describing a "very hipster crowd" to Jeffrey Epstein as "not very cute girls."

The 2013 hipsters catching strays in the Epstein files 😔

Jeffrey Epstein responding to someone's detailed email of life updates with only a "is she cute? how cute?"

Idk what I expected from a literal monster, but this guy might just be the worst texter (or emailer) to have ever lived #epsteinfiles

Combing through the Epstein files like I'm gonna be the one to catch something that was missed 🤪

Kaitlin Olson as "DJ Vance" in Hacks.

Been so Hacks-pilled lately that whenever anyone mentions the vice president, all I think about is this diva:

Revisited the “Fade” music video.

Give Teyana Taylor that Oscar.

yeah... i'm just gonna starting hexing people now, idgaf 🤷🏻‍♀️

2026 goals, let’s goooo 🎆

'Tis the season to IRL rage-bait your family by smothering your tamales in ketchup 🩵

They should make Angel Trees for perfectly-titted mamacitas

🎼 When the pee
Hits the string
Of your tampon dangling
That’s 💞 traumatic 💞

It's that time of year again! 🖤

Shop the Black Friday sale now through 12/1 for 15% off all jewelry (including mask chains for my #covidconscious crowd), as well as discounts on all kinds of other witchy accessories!

🪐 thosedemigods.com 🪐

#witchsky #smallbusiness #etsy

Nothing like the World Market Golden Nutcracker Scavenger Hunt to bring out your true nature. (Broke and embarrassed to be seen trying)

🗣️ IF YOUR WEDDING AIN'T A CHANDRILAN WEDDING, DON'T BOTHER HAVING A WEDDING

Watching Andor as someone who knows nothing about Star Wars (other than the fact that Baby Yoda is my son), and guys... the Empire is, like, really bad.

A job listing that reads: Take Selfies at the Bar with Me!

I want off this planet immediately.

We need to rethink who gets to go first on planes. I vote for people who can order food with “cheeky” names at restaurants straight-faced

Mirror selfie featuring a Jennifer’s Body costume and Sonic drink.

Mirror selfie featuring a Jennifer’s Body costume and Sonic drink.

Do you buy all your murder weapons at Home Depot? God, you're butch.

Wow wow woww Jesus Christ the new Lily Allen album is so good. Volcel autumn is 1,000% ON, baby

(I have it, too, but I’m shy 😏)

Rosalía has that same spark in her that Beyoncé has

Reading the morning Monistat droppings like tea leaves 🍃💕