and its parttt of why i have had such a hard time quitting cause i believe myself to just be like, bad and not worth it

howcommon is it for people with bpd to like. be substance addicted. very much so. but ive been demonized for it and im just. yes my actions R my own and i need to take accountability but being treated like im deliberately disobeying by having a problem is crazy

but it wont be like that forever probably

feeling super left out and its irrational but i have no distractions anymore and its just like this constant feeling and im reminded why i always went back to drugs. brain without them is bad

im like such a freak bro im such a freak but im living my best life so its okay but like im still so worried about weird things happening. i’m like 99% sure this is a safe situation but im gonna have a charged phone and shit just in case and tell a friend where am going

I MEAN. too nsfw for my personal. god. ive been writing for too long today wheres the word

this is gonna be the like. nsfw account thats too weird and eprsonal to say on my nsfw but not not porn enough for my personal

oh god i want soju. like really bad oughb but i also shouldnt just show up drunk to someones place oh god

everyone wish me luck. its say gex time

i swear certain people know what my traumas are and act the way they do just to fuck w me

criticism of ur friends does not get to be “agree with me or else were not friends anymore”

paranoidat the episode

im having some kind of an episode likely paranoid and its mostly cuz of stuff that happened irl but also interpersonal friend stuff has tipped it over the edge i just dont trust anyone and i dont wanna be near anyone

will probably follow my close friends on here and nobody else since i dont want like anyone knowing abt this account i just hatve to temporarily have a space where i can talk without feeling spied on

so much nasty interpersonal shit has happened to me in the last few years im really distrustful now honestly and i hate how it’s changed me

im probably just being extremely nervous and paranoid but i just feel like i should be over here for the time being. i thought we were old enough to not act like middle schoolers abt it all but i guess i was Wrong

the bold act of being an adult who no longer gives a shit about ur art morality politics

im so fuckingg aaaa. im so fucking. aaa. left out feelings

secret of nana