Bro, you're chopped, you're cooked. You're a delicious stir-fry.

They turned down my patent for the upside down bun.

Telling my kids this is Fez, Mrs. Foreman, Eric, Donna, Kelso, Jackie, and Hyde.

I want the world back where you look up almost any movie ever made, add it to your queue, and then they send it to you in the mail.

*walking into the grocery store*

8yo: It smells like lobster in here.

(he has never eaten lobster or been with anyone who was eating lobster)

As well he should have.

Elite take

Every town has its ups and downs.

An orange cat laying in a blue cat bed, next to a box of litter with a picture of an orange cat on it

Twins

Blood of Christ, body of Christ, cream of Christ

If they never find you, they'll never know you were hiding.

Important rules, since seven days without a pun makes one weak.

Wack!

Xena warrior princess being crucified, with her hand and a nail in the foreground.

Gotta be Xena.

Two cute green frogs looking up pleadingly for tasty bugs. The one on the left is wee while the frog on the right is bigger.

do you have any bugs for my son? he is very hungry

I hope to one day be described as "still alive and eating bananas."

Rejoice. The age of being young, dumb and full of cum is over. The era of being old, cold and full of mold has begun.

Medieval illustration of a cat playing a piano

It was good...

Shout out to the local classic rock radio station playing Days of the New.

🎵 Kings
I don't want no king
A king is a guy
who can't get no thing
from me
Hangin' out the passenger side
of his best friend's ride
His best friend is Jeffrey Epstein

That jacket is fantastic.

Big door

It's fine if a horror monster is a metaphor for some kind of trauma or some other issue, but either it's an actual thing that exists in the movie's world or it's imaginary. Trying to have it both ways just loses the plot.

YES. I saw "The Woman in the Yard" recently. Is the woman an actual ghost/monster? Or is she a manifestation of depression in the character's head? The answer seems to be... both?

I don't want to watch you bleed. No thanks.

First, the good news. The bathwater has been disposed of.

You've been warned.