Headingley Day 1: India dance on England's toes Ravi Shastri’s footwork while conducting interviews is astonishing.

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Pythagoras. But I’m sure he’d make an exception for you.

Briliant as ever, particularly the #Meatmaths

The joy and tears of Denis Law In 2002, I found myself living as a lodger with the jazz singer and former actress, Prudence Drage, just down the road from the Cromwell Hospital in South Kensington.

A bit on Denis Law. I didn't see him play, but I saw him make a lot of people happy.
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No! Not Ian.

Haha, Goughie? Though would love it if Caddick was knocking back the Marlboro Reds.

As beautiful as Australia and watching cricket from Australia is, sadly viewers in England will start experiencing hallucinations if they attempt to stay up watching an entire series.

Hard to believe either side will want to eat anything. Cricket should move with the times in these situations and replace lunch with a five minute vape break.

Hero! Selfless. #AUSvIND 🏏

Border says he was more jittery than normal when approaching 10,000 runs. Will be interesting to see if this is noticeable in Smith’s body language.

Catch up on yesterday’s play here. #AUSvIND 🏏

On the TMS end of year awards podcast, for Best Spell of 2024 I nominated Bumrah for his spell that began in February and will likely end today. I stand by that.

Tech bros and cricket dads One of the revealing things about Elon Musk is that he appears to have absolutely no interest in sport.

On Musk and NKR: Tech bros and cricket dads

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Let it not be overlooked that Pant, the most genius entertainer in sport, is nicknamed Spidey and got out two balls after being distracted by a fly.

Film pitch: George Bailey roams the plains of mid-19th Century America trying to stop the senseless slaughter of his favourite animal. 🦬

Slight irony that to get back into the side Shami will have to displace Akash, who’s bowling with zip, bounce and a hint of a bald spot.

It’s always the cover(s) up*

*on

Warner and Ravi filling the rain delay by discussing how they used to fill rain delays. It’s flying by.

That’s nice. Let me know how it goes if you ever meet Siraj.

Hehe, a rare high.

If New Zealand lose another it will be interesting to see if they send in their nightO’Rourke.

Yes, quite. Woke nonsense from Richard, sadly.

Hehe, yes that’s what I thought initially. The darkest recesses always pop up first, but apparently it’s….

I think the closest most of us could ever get to experiencing the sensation Kane Williamson feels when hitting a cricket ball would be the sensation of touching Kane Williamson’s beard.

What outfielder has caught the same batter the most times in Tests? Current research: Ex-opener Smith has Root 7 times, same for opener Smith-Sehwag. Dravid-Langer and Root-Southee/Head - 6. Any advance on 7? Strong start from Atkinson.

British male grooming industry lobbyist strategy meeting (global sales division): “Let me get this straight. You’re saying there’s an all-rounder who looks so handsome and immaculate we should pay England to pick him every overseas tour even though he never takes any wickets?”

The only betting ads permitted on TV should be actual footage of the inside of betting shops. Broken men and biros. The ambiance of loss and regret. The drawn faces of the addicted clutching at pillaged pockets.

(Really bringing the sunshine in my early days on here)

Didn’t think I could revile the laddish, omnipresent obscenity of UK betting adverts any more than I did already but when they interrupt the omnipotent serenity of Ravindra’s batting they somehow become even more nauseating.

If Van Gogh had missed his ear: