when the whale said this I lost my fucking mind

I thought it was a pokemon go thing

I’m Lutheran

he’s really strong

the pope just followed me into an alley and kicked my ass for shoplifting

in today’s economy? I’m hoping roommate

suorpio this is my real life

of course

aw fuck, we’ve got fraggles. they’re bigger than I thought. woke up last night to see one standing in the corner of my room, vaping

we all got jumanjied into monopoly

I watched a VP’s brain reset when I told him my family of four gets by on one car

bsky.app/profile/ceej...

omg

I’m on Island Time

Re: Urgent! Stop eating my beans!!!

took the day off to get an april sunburn installing a new rabbit fence in the garden. I didn’t send a single email

I hope nobody ever figures out my terrible secret. The one that would ruin my life should anyone ever hear a whisper. The horrible rot within, the bloodless evil that lurks inside my soul, apparent to anyone who looks too deeply into my eyes. Now let me go on TV as much as physically possible

because he loves him

that’s fine

trump, the antichrist? sorry. not possible. I’ve never seen him sink

woowwww check out who thinks alligators can’t learn to type

Feel like the dog owner hatred is pretty specific to New York City. But some of these New York dogs are real bad, literally one of them in Yonkers convinced a guy to kill a bunch of people back in the 70s. No wonder folks on here are wary.

there are like 100 real users on Truth Social and they’re all floridians over the age of 55. and it’s the world’s most important news source

guy on the right has a huge boner

I was one of them btw

sabrina carpenter put enough people on stage during her coachella set that you can feel confident lying to your coworkers about being one of them

I would watch Richard Jenkins and Joy Sunday team up for another ten seasons of anything

ow my mana

goddammit bsky.app/profile/ceej...

are you all being paid by the fine folks at xteink. everyone in my feed owns one of these except for me