I walked the equivalent of 3.2 marathons over the last three days. Well, except for the parts where I hovered a few inches above the ground.

The baby is described in the headline as “homophobic,” but Wendy wants to talk about this particular inaccuracy LMAO

I can’t believe Taylor “The Great Trammbino” Trammell injured his groin and Christian Walker injured his beard. Will our troubles ever end? 😢
#astros

a man wearing a houston astros baseball jersey and hat is smiling on a baseball field . ALT: a man wearing a houston astros baseball jersey and hat is smiling on a baseball field .

Bregman in full playoff form I see #Astros

Except for the Feliz Navidad guy buying SDP, the baseball vibes this season are putrid. Rancid. Purulent.

the dining room table i just bought. it's nice. i gotta return two of the chairs because they're wobbly. it's fine though. behind the table is a shelf of shit because i'm a fuckin slob. there's also other random assorted horseshit that i have on the left. some of it is the watch stuff i got. i need to get disassembling on it. someone buy me a microscope camera so i can film it.

i do not think about airports unless i'm going to one. have a picture ofa dining room table i just bought

Measuring your success by how many flights you’ve missed while you cry big hoppy tears into your Soylent.

It’s 4/20 and I’m at Magic Kingdom.

Let’s just say this place is a lot more uhhhhhhhhhhh magical. Today.

If you catch my drift.

Let’s just say uhhhhhh Goofy is a little extra goofy today.

Know what I’m sayin.

We high in here is what I’m saying.

2024 performance dip followed by injury troubles. I also don’t think teams tend to hurry on command and control dudes. They want a sexier fixer upper with stuff or whatever. It’s not even a timing issue, it’s a perfectly acceptable time of year to claim a guy. Dang dude.

You can slow down.

Somebody explain it to me. I’m clearly not in their demographic. Is this something you have to collect stamps to understand?

happy 4/20. i'm going to go home and eat 6 edibles and whatever happens is between me and my god

I’m trying to imagine what these are gonna be like next week. And the week after that. A parade of Whozees.

Peekaboo.

Oh man, I still quote that movie daily. I’m such an idiot. I say “su-su-su-su” literally every single day. I also say “a flute with no holes is not a flute” all the time. So many more. I gotta get a hobby.

There are reasons to think he’d loathe alcohol. His family history. But as soon as I think that, I then think … no way. He doesn’t care about people. It’s not for that reason.

I feel like one day we’re gonna find out our SSN’s are in Orban’s back pocket and China is aiming nukes at the Hoover Dam through like a text blast from Bahama Buck’s customer loyalty app.

It’s funny how lots of people sorta accepted him as a coke fiend but as soon as they find out he likes the bottom of the bottle, it’s all WHOA WHOA WHOA.

Unless you love digging ditches or delivering propane and propane accessories!

I have two degrees and almost a PhD and I make 71 percent of a peasant wage. Send bread. My children, they are starving.

SDP starts a series in Colorado tomorrow. Now there’s a team that’s basically immaculate from ownership on down.

Yes! I get this one.

I need the Astros blocked from my awareness to have peace on this. Just any casual awareness and I get sucked back in. The Rockets are not helpful as a distraction.

It’s always SDP.

Logan’s Run (1976)

since apparently we’re doing this discourse every time the astros have a slow start: josh hader has a full no trade clause!!!!! it’s not selfish when he inevitably won’t waive it!!!! thank u for your attention to this matter

God, you’re right.

And the pitching market right now ain’t great.

Trade Peña for pitching. #Astros

Why didn’t HOU do a proper rebuild in ‘23? Genuine question. Would love some different takes.

Hey Doc, when I finally get my PhD, you have to call me Dr. DD. Or else you’re blocked.