My nephew started asking "Where do babies come from?" Kid, what I wanna know is, "Where are they going?"

Hello friends if you found me here I am happy to see you again.

Wait please come back

I feel pretty

As much as I love love love love haunting and spookin off, I am thrilled for hibernation season around the corner. Find me under a pile of dead leaves and sticks beneath the snow and thaw me out in Spring please.

Happy to provide!

Hello Skylight/Bluesky! #tiktokrefugee

Hello

You know what? Hell no, brother.

This is insane

Licking the boot while it kicks you in the face is next level of doubling down.

“Isn’t that illegal??” Yes, my friend. Everything they’re doing is illegal. And we can’t keep trying to go high while they have continue to go low.

“extremis malis extrema remedia”

Anyone out there? I feel like I’m sitting at the DMV

Ew..”friends”

These are the good guys supporting DEI. Reward them with your business.

Costco
Meijer
Kroger
Giant Grocery
Ben & Jerry’s
Ulta, Macy’s
Old Navy
Nordstrom’s
TJ Maxx
GoTo Foods ( Moe’s Southwest Grill, Mcalister’s, Auntie Anne’s, Jamba, Cinnabon…)
Dollar Tree
Walgreens
Wegmans

I’m am… or was, a DE&I consultant, specializing in NeuroDivergent and Queer inclusion… but according to the new presidential orders that came down yesterday, DE&I is now “illegal” for organizations to teach.

I just lost my day job…

I want to open an abortion clinic and call it Don’t Kid Yourself.

Me: *getting honked at by a goose*

Me: Get off my ass or go around, jerk!

When I die, I want to be ground up into a fine powder and put through a cotton candy machine.

If you when you then yours is and for you’re gonna or not always but to 💯☝️🙏😏

Jimmy Fallon has that face where it makes me want to just shout “Seize him! Throw him in the dungeon!”

Valid

Ketchup is just tomato pudding.

Mondays are the coldsore of all the days of the week.

Tuawelphg

I’m grateful for CornNuts allowing me to fulfill a fantasy of what it’s like to eat teeth without having to actually eat teeth.

You know what? No. I don’t think I will unclench my jaw and relax my shoulders and breathe. Imma hold my breath all tense and pass out for my daily spite nap.

2024