I've seen enough. Lee Cronin has a foot fetish.

Melania: Me no fuck Epstein
Cashier: This is an Arby's

Funny how I threaten to post hole and all of a sudden there is a ceasefire

If Trump nukes Iran i'll post hole

Me: He is risen. *points to my erection*
Wife: Im leaving you

Permission to rage bait the witness, your honor?

Writing a book on sex addiction called "Beggars Can't Be Gooners"

Guys we really shouldn't milk this Kristie Noem story for jokes, have some goddamn respect

BREAKING: Iran tells US it will only negotiate with JD Vance due to them "Expecting a cushier result."

BREAKING: Cyberattack against American breathalyzer test company locks out drivers across 45 states. Pete Hegseth has been forced to rent a lime scooter.

Streaming will def scratch this itch!

Im 36 today and I realized my midlife crisis is wanting to make a feature film which is arguably worse than buying a motorcycle

BREAKING: Erika Kirk loses Oscar for "Best Actress"

If Trump loves to do one thing, its blowing a load on an island

You're telling me that 5 days after Condoleezza Rice visited the White House all of the sudden the FBI is saying Iran is gonna launch an attack on US soil?

"Iran strategically put schools near their military bases" Brother my elementary school in Bellevue, NE was so close to an airforce base that we went outside and watched George W. Bush fly in on 9/11

BREAKING: US intelligence believes there are indications Iran is preparing to deploy mines in the Strait of Hormuz. President Trump got excited at first because he thought they said "minors"

Republicans are going to be saying goodbye to their sons being deployed to Iran while wearing MAGA hats and Trump flags waiving in their front yard without a shred of realization that they were lied to.

Condoleezza Rice was seen entering the White House today. This is kind of like on Master Chef when they bring in world class chefs to teach the contestants their signature dish.

Yes Kristi Noem only lasted a year as Secretary of Homeland Security but thats like 7 in dog years

Look, everyone is nervous about our military already running out of defensive missiles but we all know what its like to transfer $200 to our savings and having to transfer it back 2 days later

BREAKING: The Austin Comedy Scene is weeks if not days away from developing a nuclear weapon

If Paramount buys WB they're gonna make Superman take down Hawk Girl and Guy Gardner for what they did to Israel, I mean Boravia

Im gonna cum

The low Scream 7 Letterboxd score is gonna hit like crack

Im at the age where I keep saying "Everything was better when we were younger." For example, people used to be embarrassed about listening to Kid Rock and would never admit it

When Trump was sworn in last year someone I was following outed themselves as Trump supporter and was rejoicing about how great it was for bitcoin. They were like "buy now, buy now, trust me." A year later its worth $40,000 less. Yummy.

So cool we get to watch ICE execute another person in broad daylight and Democrats are like "yeah give them MORE money"

I don't know how but the Orbology woman is how we defeat ICE