Thank you all for letting my grace tour stage once upon a time, RIP to a fun one

The Family McMullen (1)

I will be keeping track of every piece of media I consume in 2026 as one giant thread

“New year new Me” I say as I throw myself down a flight of stairs giving me irreparable brain damage

If I was Master Splinter I would’ve named them Jerry, George, Elaine, and Kramer

Get back to the drawing board

I’m already listening to Christmas music because Mariah Carey never wrote a thanksgiving fuck jam

Welcome to my haunted house. They say years ago, in this very spot where you're standing, my father's hopes and dream for me died. If you listen closely, you can hear them say "Law School is still an optiooooooon"

“Do you mind if I turn on some music?”
“Sure”
*turns on MARIO KART WORLD EVERY SPOOKY SONG PLAYLIST*

Podzooky TV & Film Podcast · Updated Monthly · Three dumb idiots talk about the biggest lizard idiot who shoots dumb radiation out of his dum dum face.

It is time again to post about @podzooky.bsky.social, my podcast about Kaiju media and silly discussions of such things. It's spooky season so we had on returning champ @jamiecarbone.bsky.social to talk about Sector 7 and lifting the Power Rangers Turbo Movie ban podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/p...

Her: I need a real eater
Me thinking about that time I got kicked out of a Chinese buffet: hey

Ghosting is for cowards I need you to be brutally honest about what you don’t like about me

Person who has diarrhea at a rate unheard of in modern science so they rename it after them

Guy who constantly says “big things coming” but he just means his impending divorce

Me in the criterion closet: y’all got I, Robot?

Juno ruined how a whole generation of white people talked

Come to aew bud

Nice joke you wrote there, be a shame if I took it completely seriously

Shout out to all the sex bots following me off of this I post like every three weeks

Maybe I’m also a freak then

I just wish they didn’t feel bad about their toes those are normal toes

Lola Bunny is a woman

The five literary conflicts:
- Man vs Man
- Man vs Self
- Man Vs Nature
- Man vs Food
- The Monstars have stolen the powers of famous NBA players and Michael Jordan has to stop them

Nurse: Are you ready for your circumcision? Your doctor is almost here
Me: Yes
*mr bean enters*
Me: oh no

I gave him a Meyers Briggs test and Tony Hawk got Extra Vert

Her: Tell me what you’re into
Me: Being paid a livable wage
Her: No like…what’s something that specifically pleases you?
Me: Cheap rent?

My dad: Hey when you keep texting “I want to get Challengers’d this summer” in the family group chat, what does that mean?
Me high as fuck in the burnt down k-mart parking lot: what

*getting on one knee outside the Taco Bell* these last three weeks have been a Baja blast

As a child I thought the Sonic the hedgehog drowning music was the most stressful thing I’d ever encounter and then I learned about the US healthcare system

Trump and Elon’s fight will end the same way the two white trash guys in my home town’s fight ended: unrelated drug overdoses