Stealing this as a sci-fi premise

Filthy terrarium

He’ll yeah it is

I feel fairly strongly that Tila Tequila entered her Hitler era 5-10 years too early, to her detriment. If she held out a few more years she could be spokesperson for state dept now

Evergreen

Save this one for zombie apocalypse redoubt purposes

A Chicago Pope implies the existence of an MLA Pope and APA Pope

Get a load of Mario Montessori over here

It still blows my mind that this was in response to Barbara fucking Ehrenreich

White Lotus Season 4 in Wildwood, NJ DO IT MIKE WHITE YOU COWARD

I’ve said this for years.

If you started voting Republican because pronouns annoyed you, you are basically the most feebleminded person in world history. You should not be allowed to cross the street unchaperoned

here’s the only and funniest long video i’ve wanted to post, for posterity

Gordon Ramsey: I ordered steak tartare and you've brought me an omelette?
waiter: yeah, chef's a minotaur, he doesn't like doing steak
GR: jesus christ, can I speak with him?
[waiter starts to gather up his ball of string and disappears into the catacombs]
GR: *whispers* fuck me

[about to become even more wrong] to be clear,

AND mayo!

Gemini highlight of the day:

Very wool

Number 156: a non-woke Star Trek where all the characters are constantly insulting Italians

In London they call me the Wind Machine

Hello TikTok users, please know that it’s a federal offense to sign up for Bluesky if you’re not 38 years old. In fact, if you’re reading this while not being 38, the police are already on their way. Please set down your phone and wait for the authorities to arrive. Thank you.

it's why he thought attacking germany through the balkans was a good idea the second time

One must signal, virtuously

I learned an important lesson from her. And that lesson is that it’s antisemitic to call someone “Dweeb Fartlow”

Christopher Hayes you have been found guilty of falsely accusing the New York Times of reporting the story of a soldier who had Dracula in his scope but would not fire because he was woke

Surely no one will use Facebook to encourage, say, the cutting of the tall trees during a period of mild to moderate fascism

Fashion news Tailors ‘were working on advanced fabric so exquisite it is invisible to stupid people’ Reports say new imperial suiting fuelled nudity fears, with courtiers airing their concerns to the board before CEO Sam Conman’s sacking Hans Christian Andersen, Global fabrics editor

I’ve always looked down on people who get angry about pop culture ratings/rankings but these two made me fucking apoplectic lol

Wait right about his mom’s vagina or right about banning immigration?

Your Uber is here