Just imagining some Honest Cocaine Dealers drawn in the style of a Kelly comic with tears in their eyes at today's teens and their new fad.

They're calling it Selzer's Revenge.

birds: they will never email you. and that’s a promise.

Supervising their dad as we prepared their morning medicine.

Birds are the best. This is the first step on the path to becoming bird pilled.

I consider it an honor to have subsidized someone who's writing has unintentionally made me laugh so much.

The Strange Death of Orbánism Franz Pokorny

Hungarian taxpayers paid American “post-liberal” Rod Dreher $105,000 last year to produce propaganda for Orban’s regime. www.jaccusepaper.co.uk/p/the-strang...

*going back in time 15 years to warn myself about the future*

“The president is an open pedophile. Over a million Americans died from a plague. Pasta sauce is recording people’s conversations!”

“Haha ok sure where did you hear that, InfoWars?”

“INFOWARS IS GOOD NOW!”

Infowars/Onion combo logo in rainbow saying “I support the onion’s hostile media takeover.”

It’s finally happened. After 18 months. Finally, a media merger you can root for.

Finally, Alex can take his daughter fishing.

RED ALERT! RED ALERT RED ALERT!

The Texan is no longer in play!

With the help of the Sandy Hook families, The Onion has reached a long-awaited deal to take over InfoWars.

We've enlisted the help of @timheidecker.bsky.social, who will be InfoWars' Creative Director.

Please stand by for more.

They're getting there! One day at a time Mazer is getting stronger and stronger.

Cenk Uygur and Rebellion PAC were, I can't say if they still are but I wouldn't be surprised.

Look at this baby. They were so brave about getting burrito’ed and given their medicine today. No biting, no chasing, no stress. Just a good, healthy bird.

14.5 more days left.

Mipha is awake and calling for Mazer but Mazer is perfectly content to just cuddle with me instead. Pure, older sibling shittery from my baby.

Our first morning without needing to give a whole, separate sucralfate dose 30 minutes before everything else and today was so much easier than yesterday. I'm getting better at wrapping Mazer in a burrito so I didn't even get bit once this time.

Twice in my life I have strained my trapezius as a result of working a desk job and chronically high stress, causing such prolonged muscle tension that turning my head while sleeping caused a grade two and grade one strain respectively. Muscle relaxers and edibles are a good team

It's the only biopic of a world leader where he's in a hospital bed for half the run time.

nice boner where’d you get it. the boner store

Former New Orleans mayor Mitch Landrover.

It's not 2016 anymore. The average Susan is closer to Jennifer Welch than they are to Jake Tapper. The wine mom's and grilling dads are waking up. To quote the late, great Chuck Schumer, "We. Will. Win."

i have a lot of ostensibly normie moots — boomers, many are what you’d probably call liberals — who are baying for the blood of fascists and reactionaries, who are demanding justice, with levels of candor and vigour i’ve never seen before. folks, *we are going to win.* stay in the fucking fight

I look forward to Cory Booker getting 1% of the vote in the 2028 primary.

We have our first no-hoper freak, everyone! Our first large, pillowy centrist who will make the humiliating schlep from diner to diner in an Iowa winter only to be consistently asked if he’s Hank from Breaking Bad.

It begins!

bsky.app/profile/crow...

Be aware that Wrestlemania is different from Wrestlehypomania though both can be followed by periods of Wrestledepression.

There's a sense in which I respect the evangelical leaders who unhesitatingly lined up behind the idea that President Pedophile B. Antichrist, the libertine looting and burning the world every day, is god's manifestation on earth. You have to rework your brain and moral sense so much to get there.

Mamdani: If the NYC apartment you keep solely for bi-yearly affairs with your mistress costs over 5 million dollars, you gotta pay more tax

NYPD officer who’s been on disability since 2006 because he stomped too hard on a lady during an arrest and fucked up his ankle: This is a travesty

without lionizing Leo XIV too much, i think people are brought up short by encountering someone in a position of authority who seems to have commitments to stable concepts of right and wrong that supersede class loyalty to other powerful people (which is largely the same as what Dan is saying)